The "Girl's Day" That Wasn't

Big Daddy and I were both in a funk after we found out a few things on Friday. We took turns consoling each other and went to bed after watching 20/20 and discussing what I was supposed to do if a stranger attempts to kidnap me at the mall. (It's shoot them, in case you're wondering. Oh, I kid...well not exactly.)
Anyway, I wasn't really in the mood to go out for the day and Big Daddy wasn't in the mood for the gym, or studying or doing anything productive either, so we had a family day. We went to a few of our favorite Saturday haunts. T.arget. P.et Smart. The yummy chicken sandwich place that has my most-beloved Sweet Tea. We actually walked around T.arget as a family and left the store without buying a single thing. This has never happened before. I also skipped on the S.tarbucks because I'd had way too much Sweet Tea.
Tomorrow promises to be a relaxing Sunday. We'll be going to church, coming home for chili that will have been simmering while we're away and then I am taking a nap with my Muffin. Big Daddy has plans to go to the gym and then we'll be staying home and NOT watching the S.uper Bowl. My sister is having a little party, but I promise the focus will be on the food and not the game. I am hoping that my Auntie Cisa will post some pictures of the food so that I can pretend to be eating it. I'm not in the partying mood and my appetite has been out of control, so maybe it's a good thing that the party is an hour away.
Speaking of my appetite...I think my belly must be growing at a rapid rate these days. I have a bad case of belly-itch and I feel really big for only 22 weeks. And for your viewing pleasure, there will be a picture of the Baby Belly for 22 weeks. I took it today. It's another one in the downstairs powder room and I'm standing on Muff's potty stool with the toilet behind me...lovely. Maybe I'll try to move back upstairs to the fishy shower curtain background for next week.

Thankful

I complained about lots of stuff yesterday. I didn't even come close to using all of my material for a post on complaining. I could list even more things this early in the day. What I forgot to mention was all of the good things from the past week.

-As I said yesterday, my bad week started on Saturday, but Sunday was a very nice day. We started out at church and the associate pastor started out with this video. It's an atheist that you may recognize talking about witnessing to others. The sermon was about attitudes. The people in our Sunday school class that attend the early service also discussed the video. We talked even more about how because we are Christians our attuitudes are observed more by others.
-Monday, The Muffin and I had a great trip to get groceries. She was polite and sweet and truly a joy to go shopping with. This is usually the case, but after the bad display of temper tantrums on Saturday and Sunday it was a much needed blessing.
-Tuesday, The Muffin was very grumpy. When she started waking up from her nap I put her on my bed and we cuddled. She looked me in the eyes, put both hands on my face and said, "You're my best friend." It warmed my heart and made me feel so special!
-Our Baby-to-be has been kicking and squirming around all the time. Each time it happens, I feel so blessed to have a little baby growing in my tummy...and a little freaky too. Muff's baby kicks all the time to, so we take turns feeling of each other's bellies.
-Today Pete posted a great quote that's one of his favorites. I always look forward to reading his blog, but this has to be one of my favorite posts and now, it's a blessing that I'm adding to my list.

I'm going to try to have a better attitude today and all the days in the future. I'm also planning to take The Muffin out for a "Girl's Day" tomorrow. After our rough week, we need to repair our relationship. I'm sure a trip to T.arget, P.et Smart and our favorite chicken sandwich place will do the trick...and a Sweet Tea and a treat from S.tarbucks couldn't hurt either!

One of THOSE Weeks

My bad week started on Saturday. Things were great when we first woke up, but then Big Daddy lingered too long before he left for the gym and that just irritates me. Then, he was later coming home than what he said he would be and he didn't answer his phone when I called to request an important item (it was Sweet Tea, if you're wondering). I guess all of that combined with The Muffin's 45 temper-tantrum set me off and I was in a rotten mood for the rest of the day. She hadn't had any tantrums this bad since I read this book and began to understand her a little more. (Before then, I was tempted to drop her off at the preacher's office one morning so that he could pray with her all day.) She's had tantrums several times this week and between that and our persistent cough and stuffy noses I have felt really bad. Big Daddy hasn't been very helpful and he came home an hour and a half later than he'd said he would on Tuesday night. I called both of his cell phones and they rang and then went to voice mail so I knew that he had them on and didn't hear them. That really makes me mad. The whole time I was pretty sure that I knew where he was, but he'd only said he was going to the library, so there was no way that he'd be at his friend's house talking about guns, fighting and the stock market. No. Way. Then he calls to tell me that he's on his way home from his friend's house. I gave him a long lecture about everything he does wrong and he just looked at me with that you're-pregnant-it-must-be-the hormones-look. Do you know how much I hate that look??
As long as I'm sharing that story, I should share the one about what happened with The Muffin Wednesday morning, but I just can't do it.

That being said, I think I have a new question to ask myself instead of chanting my mantra of "I'm doing the best I can".
“If something happens and I don’t blog about it…did it really happen at all?”~ Pioneer Woman

Random Facts

I love to read blogs, probably because I love taking a glimpse into the lives of others. I often refer to my favorite bloggers as "friends" when I talk about them so that people don't think I'm crazy. I love to hear the stories about spouses and children and church. A couple of weeks ago, Whitney had a little question and answer post that I truly enjoyed. Here's my version with a few random facts about us.

-I get up around 5:00 every morning.
-I watch S.ex In The City if I'm awake at 3:30am.
-We have never had cable or satellite. We watch "free tv" and that's fine with us.
-The Muffin eats chocolate chip pancakes and drinks chocolate milk for breakfast 5 out of 7 mornings.
-I love sandwiches.
-My dream job would be a kindergarten teacher or a coffee barista.
-I was probably a better preschool teacher than I am mother.
-The first two years of our marriage, Big Daddy and I were not very happy, but we loved each other and hung in there anyway.
-For the first time in his life, Big Daddy loves going to church!
-We had four cars until October. Now, we're down to three, but I think there is a convertible in our future.
-Having to get a minivan is one of my biggest fears.
-Big Daddy and I have been together for nearly 13 years.
-We met when I dated one of his college friends. (We never talk about that)
-I like to clean, but I really love having a clean house and car.
-I worry obsessively about Big Daddy when he travels. I once packed up me and Muff while we were at my mom and dad's at 11:30pm so that we could make the 1 hour drive home to get his hotel information. He was supposed to call and didn't. He called about 10 minutes into our drive home and had forgotten about the time zone difference.
-I love my gun.
-The Muffin loves to talk about breastfeeding.
-Big Daddy would be a professional fighter or a Navy Seal if he could.
-The people that I consider my truest bestest friends are all from middle/high school. We hardly ever see each other, but keep in touch by email. I know I could call on them for anything.
-I never touch hotel beds with my bare skin.
-Getting into the hospital bed when I went for my scheduled induction with Maggie took more courage than I could have ever imagined.
-I once had an appointment to have a fibroid removed on Halloween. My gynecologist was wearing his Navy uniform and the assisting nurse was dressed as a hunter.
-I have trouble making even the smallest decisions.
-I like to save money and often carry around merchandise only to put it back and leave the store without purchasing anything.
-I'm obsessive about recycling.
-I love to brush, floss and go the dentist for regular cleanings.
-My favorite things about being a real estate broker were paperwork and going to look at houses with my fellow-agent, Gladys. We used any excuse to go out together just to look at decorating and stuff.
-Our best family time is in the morning when Muff gets in our bed and falls back to sleep.
-The Muffin and I like routines and we both have special ways of doing things. She gets mad at Big Daddy because "he just can't do it right".
-We have never owned a set of scales. I weigh at my mom and dad's house and Big Daddy weighs at the gym.
-Big Daddy is not a very good gift-giver.
-My most expensive piece of jewelry is the three-stone diamond anniversary band that I got for our fourth anniversary...after he told me that he'd planned on getting me a gift card to L.owe's Home Improvement to put towards a storage building. I cried when he told me and then I picked out the ring after he encouraged me to get anything I wanted at he jewelry store.
-My broker-in-charge was afraid to get me a L.owe's gift card for my following birthday (even though it was the office standard) because he thought I might cry.
-I've been known to cry over the silliest things. Like the Christmas Eve that I had contracted hand, foot and mouth disease from a preschool kid and my aunt was on a diet. I cried because we couldn't have hot dogs like everyone else.
-Each time our phone rings I worry that it may be my mother-in-law.
-I love moving around the furniture.

Of course, there's more, but we'll just leave something to the imagination.

The Baby Belly (minus the belly)-21 weeks!

I cannot believe that it's week 21!!!

Our Baby-to-be weighs approximately 1 pound now! Baby's eyelids, eyebrows and lips are growing. (I can't wait to kiss those sweet lips!!!) I didn't do a belly picture this week because I'm too lazy to go downstairs and get the camera. Big Daddy did lots of snoring (very unusual) last night and I'm ready for my nap.

You may notice that even though we have named our baby Pacey Grace, I don't refer to "her" as that. I never do. I'm not sure that "she" is a "she" and I wouldn't want to offend a "he" by calling "him" a girls name. Got it?? I had hoped to see definite genitalia in the ultrasound and be able to monogram the initials and decorate according to the baby's gender. While I feel much more confident in the sex of this baby that I did with The Muffin, I just can't let myself go to pink, purple and Pacey Grace-crazy...I just can't. I'll truly be so happy when this baby comes out alive and breathing and boy or girl doesn't really matter. I just feel better keeping things neutral...except the M.iracle Blanket that I registered for... I decided to be bold and go for pink! The Muffin calls the baby, "Baby" and then says her name is Pacey or Sunshine. She always refers to the baby as "sister", "she" or "her". There is no possibility that our Baby-to-be is a boy in her mind.

I was the exact same way with The Muffin. We had picked out the name Maggie for a girl and Big Daddy desperately wanted to name a boy Forrest, which wasn't happening because my Daddy would constantly say, "Run Forrest! Run!" Even though Forrest was NOT our boy name, The Muffin became "Peanut" or "Maggie-Forrest". My niece Callie had the idea of calling her "Maggie-Forrest". The Muffin is still called Maggie-Forrest by a few of my friends from the real estate office even though she is Maggie Louise.

P.S. Check out a couple of great Bloggy Carnival Giveaways at Musings of a Housewife and When Does Daddy Come Home?! It just so happens that I have one giveaways from both of these great ladies in the past so it could happen to you too!!

We Interrupt This Pregnancy To Bring You An Uh-Oh

***UPDATE***
I spoke with Nurse Audrey at my OB/GYN's office this morning. "We" think that it sounds like sciatica, but she said it also have something to do with the baby's positioning. Of course, I had already decided this on saturday evening, but I like to get a second opinion and keep the midwives informed. So, the baby isn't even here yet and it's already getting on my nerves??? Oh, I kid. The baby is not getting on my nerves. I'm in no pain, but it's sort of strange to have constant numbness and tingling in one leg. If things, worsen or change, I'm to call the midwives a.s.ap. If nothing changes, I'll be seeing my perky midwife Wesley Tyler next week. It is such a blessing to have three midwives and want all of them to deliver your baby!

First, we'll start with the Uh-Oh portion of the post...
Last night my right leg started going a little numb and it worsened throughout the night and today. I'm going to call the midwives tomorrow because I really don't want the Labor & Delivery nurses to tell me to head to the ER. I'm sure if it's what I think it is (sciatica) that it will wait until tomorrow and I can avoid a tremendous bill. Big Daddy will take the necessary time off work to be with Muff or go to the doctor with me and Nana is on stand-by in case we need extended care. Please pray that this is not anything big and that I'll have no further complications...one of those complications being bedrest. That would so mess up mine and the Muffin's arrangement.

On a brighter, more exciting note, we picked out the bedding for the baby's room! It's a secret (except for my sister, mom, aunt, Muff and Big Daddy) for now, just in case something happens and we aren't able to get it. It's gender neutral ,just in case the baby is not a girl and it is not real baby-ish, which was my biggest requirement. My other big requirements were no green, no theme and no animals. All of the bedding sets we picked out were blue and brown, but the final choice is not a boy-blue and not a chocolate brown. (I think it's beautiful and I keep pulling up the picture to look at it!!) Muff's bedding was sage green and then we she came, we added little pink accents to her room. This decor can go girly or boyish when we add the final touches. Now, if Big Daddy will just clean all of his stuff out of there we can get started! I'll have to order the bedding and then pick out the paint color. I had a great painter (Nana/my mom)volunteer to paint for me such I'm a pregnant asthmatic with a husband who is inacapable of NOT messing things up. Am I blessed or what!?!

Muff is down for her nap with her beloved yellow blankets and I'm about to grab my yellow blanket and hit the bed too. All of this while Big Daddy is at the gym. We were all able to go to church and The Muffin was especially happy to be back with her friends in Sunday school.

Children Change Everything

Just the other night Big Daddy and I were talking about those first few days after we brought The Muffin home from the hospital. We were insecure and unsure of our abilities to care for her. She cried all the time. And there were blankets everywhere. On the couch. On every chair. In the bassinet. On the changing table. We used the blankets for The Muffin, for ourselves and often in lieu of that burpie that was just out of reach.

Fast forward to now...

My side of the bed.

In the foyer.

the house is covered with different things. Friday morning it was ponies. One day it is cars and trucks. Another day it's babies. More often than not, it's the Wizard of Oz "babies" that we collected from H.appy Meals.

I like things neat, clean and tidy. You may find a pony here and there, but there's usually no dust underneath. I clean around The Muffin's stuff. She's scattered throughout the house. Nana gave her an old watch that she constantly wore each time we visited. She promptly placed it on my bedside table and put it there each time I would move it. She has a place for everything, even if it's not the place that I would like it to be.

As they say, having a baby changes everything.

Finally...

we can start on preparing a nursery for our Baby-to-be.

I'm not going into all of the details (which some of you know), but you could say that our prayers were answered. Things didn't turn out quite the way that we thought that they might, but we have so much peace and so much less stress than we did yesterday. We look back on other big decisions that we've had to make in the past and we know that God always works things out and things turn out exactly like they're supposed to. We're happy!

As for the nursery, it will be a long, slow, painful process. We probably won't do too much towards decorating at first. The first step will be getting Big Daddy's stuff out of the "spare" room. I'm still having a hard time not going gender-neutral...more on that later!

Please remember us in your prayers as we prepare to make our family of three a family of four.

I Heart Etsy and Babywearing

I think I first discovered Etsy from Big Mama's Blog. I was immediately in love. You can find so many things for sale on there...the catch is, Etsy is for all things handmade. The things you are buying are actually handmade...lots of items are made by SAHM's who have become WAHM's, like Joy.
My latest favorite things to look at are of course, baby things. There are tons of personalized items, diaper and tote bags, swaddling blankets and my absolute must-have baby item, a ring sling. If you can make it, then someone probably sells it on Etsy...even cute hospital gowns so that you can look fashionable while in labor!!! The prices vary to fit your budget. And if you have a super-crafty mom like me, you can get a few ideas and then buy the supplies and have her make some of the stuff for you.
As for ring slings, I've got a bid in on a cute one on ebay right now, but I found a cheaper back-up on Etsy. I loved wearing The Muffin! I probably used our front carrier more than my mesh New Native Sling, but the front carriers can be harmful to baby's spine and leg development, so I'll probably use the sling more with our Baby-to-be. Plus, I'm trying to be more realistic than some of the moms that I see out and about chasing a toddler while trying to carry a baby in their arms, push a stroller or carry the car seat. I also liked that when Muff was in her front carrier or pouch sling, strangers stayed away.
If you have any babywearing questions, you can probably find the answers and lots of great tips and advice on Steph's blog, Adventure's in Babywearing.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

First steps in the snow.

Our Little Snow Angel

Feeding Daddy

Adding marshmallows to the hot cocoa.

This is what Big Daddy does in his spare time- makes Baby Joy into Baby Ms. Potato Head. Of course, nothing upsets Muffin more than for the potato to be upside down.

Snow Day

We had a "Snow Day" today with about 6 inches of snow falling last night and most of the day today. This much snow is a rare thing in our part of central North Carolina. Big Daddy had the day off work and we too The Muffin out around 8:30 this morning. She was very grumpy today and seems to be getting some sort of respiratory-thing, so our time outside was brief. I made hot cocoa for us after our excursion outside and then we played inside, colored pictures, hung out and had a family nap together on our bed. The nap was SO good! I'm planning on doing a "Wordless Wednesday" post tomorrow with a few of our "Snow Day" pictures. I'm too lazy to go downstairs to retrieve the camera right now!

We tried to avoid the television as much as possible today. We watched a little news and weather this morning and quickly turned it off when they started covering the inauguration. I'm usually a sucker for pomp and circumstance, but I'm getting tired of hearing about the inauguration of the first black/African-American president, who happens to actually be of mixed race (???). The only reason I'm really tired of it is because we keep being reminded that it shouldn't be about race, but it keeps being mentioned. I watched about 15 minutes of coverage leading up to the actual swearing in and transfer of power before my sweet Muffin needed help with crayons.

Overall, we had a nice day that I'm sure I'll remember for a long time. I'll probably forget that our "big" snow was on inauguration day, but I'll never forget The Muffin being upset that the snow was covering our pansies and her Cozy Coupe car!

It's Not Nice To Kick

I told sweet Muffin that the baby was kicking me tonight and asked if she wanted to try to feel it. She was all too eager. After a couple of seconds she told me that the baby wasn't kicking, "she was probably just jumping...like this" and then Muff jumped up and down. After that, she pulled up her shirt and told me to feel her baby kick.

I. Love. This. Girl.

And Laura, I'm not brave for showing my belly pics, I'm just keeping it all documented for future reference. This may (or may not) be our last pregnancy and I want to remember everything or at least have the pictures to look at. I only took a few belly shots when I was pregnant with The Muffin and I'd love to be able compare the size of my belly. I love pregnant bellies. I love the different shapes and sizes. I think our pregnant bellies are amazing.

Most of all, this is not my first pregnancy and I lost all of my modesty a long time ago!

The Baby Belly- Week 20...

Our Baby-to-be is around 10.5 inches long from head to heel!

I cannot believe that we are are at our official halfway mark! The past 16 weeks (since we found out) have truly flown by. I'm still not feeling consistent movements yet, which nearly drives me crazy. I try to remind myself that my crazy fears are totally irrational, but I swear that the sweetest sound is hearing your unborn baby's heart beat on the doppler! Last Saturday evening I felt a definite nudge from our sweet baby and then I was able to feel it on the outside of my stomach, too. Of course, I was alone and Big Daddy did not get to feel it.

I'm always cautiously optimistic. It's never far from my mind that no matter what I am not guaranteed this sweet baby. Everyday that I'm pregnant I try to tell this baby how very much we love and want it. Muffin gives my belly kisses and tickles it. I'm reminded of all of my virtual friends that had to leave the hospital empty handed or had to leave their newborns in the NICU, not to mention the ones who care for their disabled children everyday because of VP. They spent nine months planning for a baby and had their hopes and dreams shattered. Maybe that has more to do with us not at least planning a nursery than some other things and I just have a hard time admitting it. All of my worries and fears are a reminder of how Vasa Previa has changed everything in my life. And then there are stories like Kelly's that remind me of all of the other things that can happen. I try to pray and have faith, but it's still hard.

On a positive, less depressing note...The Muffin seems to feel better. She's been fever-free since the afternoon and hasn't puked since around 10:00. She seems to be getting a stuffy nose, so we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Please continue to pray for Kelly, Scott and Harper Stamps. I know that they have so many prayers being spoken for them.
Our little family has a couple of "big" things happening this week, too, so say a little prayer for us while you're at it!

***UPDATE***

Around 2:30 this morning I felt the baby move again...after much poking, prodding and praying that "she" would kick. Needless to say, I woke Big Daddy up and he felt it too, but only after more poking around and him coaching the baby by saying, "Come on, Baby. Kick Daddy."

Update on the sick Mufffin

After a very long, messy and sleepless night, The Muffin seems to be feeling better. Her fever broke a little after 8:00 this morning and she was able to eat cheese and crackers and drink apple juice without getting sick.

We had a very long night. Muff & I slept until a little after midnight. I heard her crying and went to her room to find her "spitting up", as she calls it. Big Daddy and I cleaned her up, changed her bed and I started a load of laundry. Her fever was still up, so Big Daddy went to W.algreen's to get M.otrin. We had tried it before when ibuprofen wouldn't work. She had a popsicile and then we all went back to sleep around 2:00. I checked on her several times and then she woke up around 7:00 feeling bad and very feverish. Her temperature had risen another degree, she had more M.otrin and we moved our little pajama party to the living room. She got sick (in the trash can!!!) and then her fever broke and she started feeling great!

Muff wanted to go to church, but doesn't "want to make her friends sick", so she agreed to watch her favorite movie with Big Daddy. I had to come upstairs to get away from the music. I think my ears will fall of if I hear "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" one more time!

Even though I know a fever and "spitting up" isn't all that serious it's so hard to be helpless when it comes to your child. It takes me back to the day that she was born and I knew there was nothing I could do. Once again, please remember the Stamp family in your prayers. I'm sure they feel helpless right now as they deal with Haper's illness.

One More Thing To Pray About

We have lots going on in our little family that has kept me busy worrying and praying for months now. I'd like to say that the end of that is almost near, but we're not quite there. Of course, I pray for the safety of me, Big Daddy, The Muffin and our Baby-to-be as well as the safety of our families, but there's always more that we can pray about.

Please take time to pray for Kelly, Scott and their newborn daughter, Harper. I've been reading Kelly's blog since she announced her pregnancy. I found her blog through Big Mama...which I found through Angie...which I found through Celebrity Baby Blog...and that's how I was sucked into this whole bloggy thing about 10 months ago.

Please say a little prayer for our sweet Muffin too. She suddenly developed a fever and then puked all over herself tonight...just after her bath...which really upset her. I washed her off again, dressed her in clean pajamas , took her temperature, gave her ibuprofen and then she fell asleep in her daddy's arms while cuddling with her "Baby Bop" blanket (it's a yellow minky and silky blanket that looks like Baby Bop's). Big Daddy just carried her up to bed and of course, she woke up a little. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, stay here and take care of me." I sat by her bed, brushed my fingers through her hair and prayed for her. She asked for more covers, which broke my heart! I hate fevers and knowing that she has one and it's making my little girl that's never cold, cold makes me so sad. I'm tempted to stay in her room all night just so that I can take care of her!

All parents should really want to do is take care of their babies. One more reason to pray for Kelly & Scott tonight as they hope for Harper's recovery.

Moving On...with Big Daddy by my side

Now that the ultrasound is over I've started focusing on other things. I wish I could say that one of those things was the nursery, but we're not going to talk about that. We are still on hold for the time being.

I hadn't planned to start thinking anymore about my birth plan just yet, but I stumbled upon the pregnancy section on divine caroline Saturday and I started thinking. The Muffin was in her room for naptime and I was doing my usual 30 minutes on the computer before folding laundry or taking a nap myself, and it just happened. I read and read and read and read and decided to interrupt Big Daddy's game of computer chess so that we/I could talk about "The Big Day". When I told him my plans he laughed. Then he looked at me and realized that I was serious and said he thought that sounded fine if it would make me happy. I told him that I was having second thoughts about the baby having to come out and it would really make me happy if he could give birth to our Baby-to-be and any future Babies-to-be. Then I went on about everything I want and don't want to happen and I reminded him that he'll be there the entire time (as in you cannot leave the floor to eat lunch and will have to have someone bring you food and you will eat in front of me even though I'm NPO, thankyouverymuch) and that I can't do any of it if he doesn't suppport me. He vowed his support and I'm sure that somewhere in his mind he was imagining playing chess on his laptop while I'm laboring. No matter what, the baby will come out.

Then, I started thinking about the hospital stay and all of the things that I want (like a cute hospital gown that I saw on Etsy). We had such a great experience last time (after the crash c-section) but there were times when Big Daddy could have done a better job. 1) He slept. When I was on morphine and couldn't sleep the first night, he slept. 2) He slept. After I was able to get out of bed with help, there was that time that he was sleeping, Muff was crying and I couldn't reach her and he slept through it all. I finally was able to hit his chair with the bedside table and wake him up. It seems that he had forgotten that my throat was sore from being intubated and couldn't really talk that loud and had no way of waking him up. 3) His sense of humor. It really needs to go on vacaton this time. Around 48 hours after Muff's birth he purposely made me laugh so hard that I thought I would die...and he thought it was funny. I didn't have to laugh all that hard to feel like I was dying, but he didn't have to make the hilarious comment that he made. Even worse, when I asked him to leave the room so that I could try to compose myself, he sent the lactation nurse in because I "was crying"...as if he didn't know why! She came in thinking that I asked him to leave for some unknown reason and was completely surprised when I told her that he had purposely made me laugh and that I thought my insides were coming out and that was the reason I was crying.

To make a long story short, I'm thinking about labor and delivery of getting a doula to replace my Big Daddy.

Oh, I kid. He had his good moments too! 1) When our midwife, Peggy, was asking about how we wanted things to happen he passionately told her of his desire to "catch the baby". 2)When he was paged back to our L&D suite and he tried to look calm and reassuring while I was having contractions while standing on my head with Peg's hand up my private area. I remember she was explaining to him what had happened, what they were doing and what was going to happen with the crash c-section. 3) I remember the day after The Muffin was born and I looked through all of the pictures that were on our camera. That's when I really realized that he had missed the actual delivery too. I saw those first pictures of Muff coming out and then being held up to the window so that Big Daddy and my mom could see her and then the ones that he had taken in the nursery and then the ones that the nurses had taken of him sitting in the rocking chair holding our baby and grinning like he was so happy. 4) When I first (remember) talking to Peggy on the morning after the birth she told me more details about what had happened. I promised her that I would never want to have another baby and Big Daddy agreed with me and told me that one was all we really needed anyway. 5)Then I remember him taking 15 pictures of her in her little hospital bassinet all swaddled and content and how proud he was of our sweet little Miracle.

I guess he's not that bad after all, but he's no doula.

The Baby Belly- Week 19

The Baby-to-be is approximately 6.5 inches long and weighs about 10.5 ounces!

Great Idea!

I was tagged by my "friend", Lisa. And by "friend" I mean a stranger that I met on the internet...not once, but twice. I first met her through my Vasa Previa email group. She's a VP Mommy like me, with a VP Miracle and how our births started out are similar. I like to think that we make each other feel not so crazy. Then, once I started blogging she came to my blog from my Aunt Lisa's because they are both vegetarians and the same denomination...how neat is that? I met her online, twice!

Anyway... you are supposed to go to your My Documents folder, go to the sixth folder, the sixth picture and then blog about it.

Here's my picture...

It's The Muffin on the day of her birth, April 25, 2006. All 8 pounds, 8 ounces of her. It's still on my computer because I just can't bear to take the pictures of her birth day off. It's on a disk and in at least a thousand other places, but I view this particular folder more often than any other on my computer. As much as I wish I could forget that day sometimes, I never really want to. I look at the pictures and remember knowing and feeling that Someone was standing beside of me in the operating room and when I tried to reach over to touch them, I realized that my hands were already restrained. (Guess Who?) Before I had a chance to open my eyes and look beside of me, they put me to sleep. He was there, I'm sure.

We probably look at her birth pictures more that most normal people. I do it to try and remember more about that day and to search the backgrounds of the pictures to see more details of all that I missed. Big Daddy does it because he's sure that she was never that little.

I think that maybe, Tina, Tara, and Lisa would do this and then there's Laura and Joy, maybe they'll do it too.

The New Cupcake's Name

The Muffin has agreed to let us name our Baby-to-be! Unless something changes, we'll be welcoming Pacey Grace to our family in June. If you think you know where the name Pacey came from, you're probably right. The middle name is after one of my favorite little girls from the first preschool class I taught way back when! Let's just say that if she's half as precious as Kelly Grace, we'll be set! Like everything else, I guess there is a small possibility that this could change, but Big Daddy assures me that it isn't likely.

I convinced The Muffin to let us use this name so that all of our "names" will end with the same sound. Pacey, Maggie, Mommy and Daddy. She liked that the sounds "matched". And yes, if you didn't know, our little Muffinhead's real name is Maggie. She probably gets called Muffin just as much, though. I'll be calling little Pacey "Cupcake" most of the time until she's born and probably well after. She has to bake for a quite a while longer, but time is flying!

If you like the name, great! If you don't like the name, we don't really care! That's what we'll be saying when a certain someone finds out our name choice...which we'll try not to let her know until absolutely necessary. And most of you can guess who she is!

The Baby Name

I promise I'll let everyone know as soon as we decide on a name. It's such a personal decision and we do not want outside opinions influencing our choice. The Muffin is having second thoughts about her first pick, so we have a couple of more options now! Big Daddy says that we'll name her whatever Muff allows us to name her. We plan to work on the name thing tonight and I really will post it a.s.a.p. If I don't, my dear Joy will absolutely explode and a few others may follow.

If our Baby-to-be had been a boy, his name would have definitely been

Eli Ronin.

It's a .........

beautiful baby, don't you think?

The placenta, cord insertion and cord placement all look normal and the placenta is located away from the cervix! I was so relieved when I met with my midwife after the ultrasound and she said that the umbilical cord was inserted centrally into the placenta. (I never thought I could be so excited over a placenta in all my life!!!) No sign of vasa previa. We both let out a big sigh of relief. The Baby-to-be's heart and brain look great, too. (Callie was hoping that it would have a "smart mind and heart"...that's what she wrote in the card that she gave me on the day after we told my family the news.) The baby's heart was beating in the 150's. Of course, I still have my worries and will continue to worry until this sweet baby is in my arms, safe and sound after delivery.

I watched the ultrasound with my head elevated off of the pillow until I just couldn't do it anymore. I loved watching all of the little moves and the bloodflow on the color doppler was such a treat! The Muffin wanted to see the baby's nose. We got a great picture of a foot. Those kidneys, that brain, those hands, that spine and those ribs...all so cute. I saw nothing that told me if our Baby-to-be is a boy or a girl. Fortunately, Pam saw otherwise...and she says it's a girl. A sweet, little baby girl. A sister for The Muffin. Another granddaughter and promise of matching outfits for my mom. Another niece and goddaughter for my sister and brother-in-law. Another reason for Big Daddy to buy another shotgun. Surely, another squealing voice in our house.

We really couldn't be any happier! There's no need to worry that we were hoping for a boy...we were just hoping for a baby. The Muffin is thrilled because she knew it was a girl. She wasn't surprised by the news at all. And in case you're wondering, I thought it was a boy!

Thanks to everyone who has been anxiously awaiting our big news!

And F.Y.I.:

She weighs approximately 10 ounces and I've gained (only) five pounds so far!

Baby-to-be definitely has a name...

well, sort of.

************UPDATED************

We will share the name as soon as we are completely sure of it! Big Daddy has told me that it could still change at any time. I'm trying to remind him that it's so important for The Muffin to have a name for our baby so that she can bond. It has nothing to do with my love of anything monogrammed!

If "it's" a boy we have a name! If "it's" a girl, we have a total of four names and The Muffin is determined that our fourth choice is THE name. I swear, she is a little sponge and soaks up every word we say. Our fourth pick is a name that I like, but not with our last name. Then Muff overheard us say it and she is stuck on it. No matter how many times I give her our top three girl name choices, she goes back to the same name, even when it's not on the list.

As for The Muffin's earlier change of heart on a boy or a girl, she is still determined that the Baby-to-be is a girl. I'm still totally blissed out thinking about the baby being a boy or a girl! Big Daddy just wants the baby to be happy.

I think I'm over my biggest anxieties about tomorrow's ultrasound. I have complete confidence in my knowledge of our past problems and I know that we'll get through anything that comes our way with faith. I decided to listen to the words that I say daily to The Muffin regarding prayers. We go through the same thing at least once a day (nap and/or bedtime) where she wants her Nana and/or Pawpaw so much that she says, "pray for me". I say the same prayer every single time and then she cries for them again. I tell her that Jesus wants to help her, but that she has to calm down and let Him. This always works and calms her down and it works for me too.

Things Change

We had our first day back at K.indermusik yesterday. It was lots of fun! Two of our K.indermusik friends (both boys) have baby brothers that tag along. J is 4 months old and N is one month old. Yesterday after class The Muffin insisted on visiting with both babies. I had given baby N his paci during class when he started waking from his nap. He sat in his little car seat and went back to sleep even though we were making so much noise all around him. He started to wake up after class and Muff tickled his feet. She always talks about tickling our baby, so that's her thing. Baby J is at the stage where he laughs, smiles and giggles at everything. Muff wouldn't do her "baby talk" like she does to my belly, but she tickled his head.

Last night she told me that she wanted a baby like N or J. Then she said that I had J in my belly and that she had N in her belly and that they would grow "big and strong" and come out soon. Maybe she's open to having a boy now???

I really can't stress how neutral I am on gender. I get SO excited about either one. Two girls would be fun, they could dress alike, have girly toys and then there's the hair bows and all of the squealing! A boy and a girl would be cute too. I think they'd be more protective of one another and I'd definitely feel more comfortable with Big Daddy sharing his love of firearms and fighting! Yesterday a K.indermusik parent asked "what we wanted". I'm sure most people say it doesn't matter, but I could never be more sure of how much it doesn't matter. I guess you could say that I've never been more unsure of anything in my life...whether I'd want a boy or a girl if I could pick. I really like being so unsure!

Hopefully, I'll be letting everyone know what "it" is on Thursday!

The Baby Belly- Week 18

The Happy Mommy

The baby-to-be is nearly 6 inches long from crown to rump and my uterus is now the size of a cantaloupe!!!

I cannot believe that we are nearly to our halfway point, assuming that the Baby-to-be makes it to 40 weeks! I had horrible round ligament pains last night, courtesy of the hormone relaxin. I guess my next complaint will be the joint pain- that was my worst pregnancy discomfort with The Muffin. It made getting out of bed every morning feel like torture. I can only hope that Big Daddy will give me morning back massages just like he did when I was pregnant before.

The Muffin is now praying for "our baby" every night! She has also started calling it "our" baby instead of "your" baby. She is very excited about taking Nana to the ultrasound appointment on Thursday and seeing a picture of our baby. She "reads" her big sister book that Auntie Sharalee gave her for Christmas and talks about the baby pretty often. I think she's getting excited!!

Just Because...

Such A Busy Weekend

We have been so terribly busy this weekend! It all started on Thursday, but I really don't want to go into that.
We'll start with Friday. Muff and I went to the grocery store, came home, had lunch, played and took a nap. When Big Daddy came home from the gym on Friday, The Muffin and I were just waking up from our nap...at 4:00. We decided to go t Cary to shop for a new laptop for his new computer class that starts next week. We went to the mall first and headed straight to the Food Court...after a ride on the escalators! Muff had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from home (her favorite) waffle fries and lemonade from you now where. Big Daddy and I had Chinese food. It was so good. After that we spent over 2 hours at B.est Buy looking at computers. We had great computer guy, Brian, who was wonderful. The Muffin ate 6 Dum Dum suckers while Big Daddy and Brian talked about school and stuff. Brian graduated (criminal justice) from UNCW and had Mike Adams as a professor. They talked about the NCSU lecture that we attended when I was pregnant with Muff (that's when I fell in love with Dr. Adams) Second Amendment rights and then of course, collecting firearms. Brian's now attending NCSU and planning to go to vet school. Between Dr. Adams and NCSU and computers and the whole going back to school in their 30's thing the guys had LOTS to talk about. That explains the 6 Dum Dums. Anyway...we picked out the laptop and left it there so that the G.eek Squad could do the set-up. It was getting late and I was so tired. We left today around 1:00 to pick it up and get new jeans for Big Daddy. He also insisted that we go to T.arget and back to the mall to M.otherhood to look for me a new shirt...to wear to my ultrasound on Thursday. We found one and then headed to M.imi's Cafe for dinner. It was yummy. After that Big Daddy took me to S.tarbuck's so that I could finally have a S.alty Ca.ramel Hot Chocolate. It was worth every penny of the $3.50. I loved it and could actually see it being a permanent replacement for my Tall Non-fat Decaf Cafe Mocha with no whipped cream...if only it wasn't seasonal. Now my belly's full, my girl's asleep, my sweetheart is playing with his new toy and I'm going to take a nice, hot shower and go to bed.
Tomorrow, the only thing I plan to do is go to church, cook fajitas for lunch and then take a nap. And I'm so excited about it.

One More Week

***UPDATED***I will be sharing if the baby is a boy or a girl, but we might not make the name completely public until birth...we'll see.

Next Thursday is our "big" ultrasound appointment and hopefully we'll find out what our Baby-to-be is. I'm anxious to see that sweet face and if we can find out the sex, I can't wait to have a name for our baby. We're still working on that!
I'm getting more excited about the whole boy or girl thing, but the health of our baby and everything around it is always on my mind. I try to remeber that I know so much more than I did when I was pregnant with The Muffin...well, the bad part there is I know so much more good and bad pregnancy-related things. I know that even my doctors and midwives are probably a little more aware because of our situation when The Muffin was born. I'm hoping that I don't start sobbing are barking off orders to Pam when she starts the ultrasound. I'm going to try to calmly tell her what I need to know first: 1) How many lobes does the placenta have? 2) How is the cord inserted (into the placenta)? 3)How is the cord placement? 4)Is it a boy or a girl? I hope I can get definite answers to all of my questions. The bad part is if there's nothing wrong with the placenta or the cord insertion and placement I'll still wonder if everything is okay. Until I have our baby in my arms and see it moving and breathing on it's own, I won't feel like all of those things are okay. Vasa previa most definitely takes your innocence away. When I was pregnant with The Muffin I didn't know to worry about these things. I didn't know how easily they can go undiagnosed. I didn't know that it's not routine to screen for these things in our country.
On a brighter note, I could just cry with joy when I think of hearing "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!". Either one would excite me beyond belief. I definitely have a feeling about what our baby is, but no matter what, it doesn't matter. The Muffin on the other hand knows that our baby is a girl!

Please keep us in your prayers as we await our big day!

A Review of Our Year

January- Big Daddy had a spur of the moment trip to Italy for business. He found out about the trip on a Friday and left the following Sunday. We spent all day on Saturday trying to get his bag packed and by the necessary travel necessities. I became his unofficial tour guide and went through the tour books and maps that he bought trying to highlight the top things he should do in his free time. Thank goodness for R.ick Steves! He was trying to get all of his computer, paperwork and school stuff ready for the thirteen day trip. The Muffin and I missed him terribly!
The Muffin started showing an interest in potty training.
February- Big Daddy and I took our annual couple's trip to Myrtle Beach a little early. Muff stayed with Nana & Pawpaw. We got a great deal on a Valentine's Day special. It included champagne...which we still have because we don't drink.
We started attending (and loving) the new church.
Muff fell in love with bubbles.
April- Miss Muffin celebrated her second birthday! we went to a homeschooler's outing at Marsh Stables and saw a wild west show. We also toured the old ghost town. We had a small party with my family the following Sunday.
Muffin discovered the joys of sidewalk chalk.
The Muffin became a Life Member of the N.ational Rifle A.ssociation.
Muff made a new best friend and we decided that Ms. Bell (in the church nursery) was the only reason that Muff would willingly go to church.
May- We had our first day trip to W.rightsville Beach. It was so much fun. Big Daddy and I found out that the water zaps all of Muff's energy.
I had my first Sweet and Spicy Chili D.orito.
The Muffin potty trained!!
June- We decided we'd try to have a baby in the next few months.
Muff discovered pregnant bellies when we met our friend Mamie.
August- I celebrated my 31st birthday-ugh- with a special lunch out with Muffin.
We had our semi-annual family beach trip with my parents, my sister and her family and some family friends.
Mamie had her baby and Muffin was amazed!
We decided that getting pregnant in September would make the due date just right for Big Daddy's school schedule.
Had an awesome day trip to Southport and The Muffin rode her first "ferry boat".
September- Found out we had a baby on the way!
The Muffin started asking for prayer when she was sad or upset.
October- The Muffn discovered the "joys" of election year, decided to support O.bama.
Muff had her first B.uild A Bear experience for Callie's birthday party! We made "Joseph".
Muff found out that you get candy at Halloween and wanted to do "more trick-or-treating"!
Muff became addicted to D.ancing with the Stars.
November-Big Daddy turned 33! He bought himself a very nice, expensive gift at the gun shop! Muffin discovered her love of taxidermy.
Decided that she in fact, did not like O.bama or any other candidate.
December-The Muffin fell in love with Christmas, the Advent calendar, Nativity Scenes and Christmas lights.
Learned the difference between a pistol and a rifle.
Big Daddy passed his classes with flying colors!
We took a family beach trip to Myrtle Beach.