Baby Ellie

We're still waiting on her........

I thought since The Mommy gave me permission to......that I would go ahead and give you an update.  I don't really have an update so I thought I'd go ahead and give her blog a makeover in preparation of Baby Ellie's arrival.  The Mommy won't have internet connection but I will be sure to share any baby news as soon as it's available.  Keep The Mommy and Big Daddy in your prayers as this special day approaches.  

Auntie Lisa

It's official...

...I've never been more physically exhausted in all my life. More than once today I've said, "Dear God, please let me make it until nap time" only to have The Muffin say, "What did you say? Who are you talking to?". She has been so grumpy today. I tried to make our last real day here in town a little special by taking her to our local H.allmark store. She loves their huge Y.ankee Candle display and she refers to the store as "the candle store". She insists on sniffing of each one and making sure thatt each candle is in the correct spot. She loves the store, but is never ready to leave. I'd hoped to take her to our favorite greenhouse too, but I just couldn't do it.

My feet are megaginormous and they hurt so bad. My back is aching and I feel like I could just be a vegetable forever. I'm going to lay on the couch with my feet propped up and enjoy the quietness of nap time. After The Muffin is awake, I'm sure I'll find more stuff that I can pack for the big move tomorrow.

And on a totally different note, I bought my gift for having another one of Big Daddy's babies today! It's a V.era Brad.ley diaper bag! I justified the expense by reminding myself that I'll be trying to carry all of Baby Ellie's stuff, anything for The Muffin and my things while watching my girls. AND, the bag was a lot cheaper than the pearl earrings and necklace that Big Daddy gave me on the night of Muff's birth.

So long, until I have Internet access again!!

The end of our Spring semester

The Muffin and her future husband, Christopher.

The Muffin and her Kindermusik teacher, Ms. Myra.

Muff and her closest friend, Ayden.

The Muffin's favorite puppet, the mouse.

Two peas in a pod: Ayden & Muffin on the story blanket.

Our class clown and close friend, Erik.

The three girls that have started sticking together like glue: Ayden, Muffin & Eliza.

Staying and Moving

I have just returned from my weekly doctor's appointment and I actually had a nice visit with the male OB that made me furious a couple of weeks ago. This could have something to do with attending a birthday party with the OB that performed my c-section delivery with The Muffin. We talked about Muff's delivery, this pregnancy and that doctor. She's close friends with one of my close friends and she was very understanding of my complaints about the other OB.

Anyway, Baby Ellie likes Mommy's belly. She's staying put, or at least it seems that way for now. I haven't progressed any further...in three weeks. This is so much like when I was expecting Muff. My next appointment is next Thursday and it's with my midwife Rita. I'm going to talk to her about when to induce, if it comes to that. I'm sure they will want to strip my membranes (ouch, ouch, ouch) and try more "natural" ways of encouraging labor first. Whatever works best for Baby Ellie is what I'll do. Part of me just wants this baby out so that I can stop having my cervix checked. Seriously...it hurts. I didn't want to be induced, but I'm having issues with being an hour away from the hospital that I'll deliver in even though I try to make it seem like it's not that big of a deal when I'm asked. Plus, I'm not sure I can handle going into labor at home after what happened with The Muffin. Then again, I don't want to be induced because of what happened wit The muffin either. In the end, God will chose when Baby Ellie comes.

Now, for the moving part of the post.

We are planning our big move for Saturday and we'll hopefully be spending the night in our apartment. I managed to only cry twice about this yesterday. I'm thankful that we found a place to live without having to wait, but it is so hard to move into a little two-bedroom apartment with a teeny-tiny kitchen. We had dreamed about all of the things that we would be doing with our two girls in our house and in our neighborhood.

On a brighter note, The Muffin enjoyed picking out her new room. She was a little confused because there wasn't any furniture and she mistakenly chose the living room. We straightened that out and she likes her "very own room". She loves the playground and I'm actually looking forward to spending evenings out there with her and Big Daddy.

As of tomorrow, we'll temporarily be without Internet service. (gasp!!) We're going to get an air card so that we'll be completely wireless and mobile. I'm just not sure when we'll get that taken care of. Auntie Lisa will be posting any big baby news or any new developments for me. If you start getting concerned about Baby Ellie's arrival, jump over to her blog and ask her what's going on.

I'll try to post something fun and exciting tomorrow.

FYI, we're up against a deadline

In my "former" life (a.k.a., before motherhood) I was a real estate broker. I know all about deadlines and contracts falling apart and not closing at the closing table. Even though things seem to be falling into place and going well with the sell of our house, I'm cautious.

As parents, Big Daddy and I want what's best for The Muffin and Baby Ellie. We have made lots of decisions based on them. If it were just the two of us, Big Daddy may have even stayed with his former employer because he loved the company that much. We would have faced an even more uncertain future just because we could have afforded to do so without hurting any little lives.

Over the past week, we have listened to countless people ask, "So are you going to wait and move after the baby comes?". It's sort of like the comments that people made because our house was for sale and I still tried to prepare the nursery by painting it and putting a crib in there. Both of these were sort of a no-brainers for us. We're up against a deadline, people! It's not exactly what we wanted to do, but it is definitely what we felt is best for our entire little family. We decided that being even partially settled into an apartment when Baby Ellie comes would be better than trying to move and care for a baby while I'm recovering and we're adjusting to life as a family of four. I hope this also gives The Muffin a little time to get used to her new room before she has to get used to her new baby sister, too. Poor Muffin is going through enough as it is. Big Daddy will be off work for two weeks when Baby Ellie is born and we want to spend this time as a family and hopefully, be able to do some fun stuff. We don't want to be moving and packing and unpacking our lives.

I guess I'd finally had enough yesterday. Let's just say I received a phone call. (You know who it was from.) She asked if we were going to stay in the house for "a couple of weeks after the baby was born to get settled". I explained (again) when the due date was, when the closing date was and that we had spent the past week packing up and that my mom and sister had spent the biggest part of their day on Saturday assisting us. Her suggestion was that I let "them" move us into the apartment while I'm in the hospital. I tried not to sound angry when I explained to her that "they" (my family-mom & dad, sister & brother-in-law) had done more than enough for us already and that I would not dream of asking more of them and I also wanted to unpack my own stuff because I wasn't lazy and could do it a lot easier now than I could do it while caring for Muff and a new baby. I also reminded her that they had let Big Daddy stay at their house and made room for me and The Muffin to come and visit and tried to do everything that they could to make all of this easier on us. AND, that they don't mind, don't try to get out of helping us after they've said that they would and are always ready to go above and beyond the call of their role as family. And that while I'm in the hospital with Big Daddy at my side we can rest easy knowing that The Muffin will be safe and happy with them. Not to mention that several times over the past few weeks we've left The Muffin with my family so that we could do something quick only to unexpectedly be gone for an hour or two. And who has kept The Muffin (overnight) for many of my doctor's appointments??

I have no problem doing the math. Baby Ellie is due on June 7, ten days away. Our house is scheduled to close on June 16. If Baby Ellie doesn't arrive on her own, my labor will most-likely be induced on June 11 or 12. I have to stay in the hospital for at least 48 hours because I'm GBS+. If I have to have a c-section assisted delivery, I'll be there at least one day longer.

If we'd had things our way all of this would have happened a month earlier or later. (Be careful what you pray for because it really will happen in God's time) Big Daddy has been away from us for most of each week since he started his new job on April 6. This has been emotionally hard on Muff and we need and want to be together as a family. People seem to think that she just goes on about her life while he's gone and picks up where we left off when he comes back. I can promise you that this isn't the case. The Muffin has shed many tears over her Daddy being gone and I've cried by her side so many times. Being together every evening works for us.

I guess all of this could have been summed up by saying people should "keep their opinions to themselves" or "mind their own business". I just felt like it needed an explanation.

Week 38 & Packing Up Our Lives

It's week 38! Our Baby Ellie is officially fully-baked and could come at anytime...although I'm hoping she'll stay toasty in the oven for at least one more week! I actually have a picture of me, The Muffin and my Ellie-Belly, but I'm too lazy to go downstairs and retrieve it from the camera.
***Updated to add that for some reason, I can't get he pictures out of the camera***

We had such a busy weekend! My mom, sister and Callie came on Saturday and helped us pack up our lives. They took a load of stuff that will be stored at my parents' house as well as The Muffin's play house. All of my fall/winter clothes are now packed and I'm hoping that we will be in a new house before I need them. My mom and sister now realize just how much stuff you have to pack when you're moving everything! After they left, we napped and then went to a birthday party. It was a very long day.

Sunday was supposed to be our last regular Sunday at church. We were going to let everyone know of the recent developments in our lives. Instead, we were surprised about 3:30 Sunday morning when The Muffin woke up with a fever and then started throwing up. I think she's sick of all of this moving stuff. Her sickness lasted until bedtime. Big Daddy and I took turns sitting with her and I did three loads of laundry. One of our Sunday school classmates called to see if we'd had Baby Ellie. When I told her all about what was going on she offered to keep The Muffin, help us pack our bring us food. We once again realized why we love our church and are so heartbroken that we'll be church-shopping soon.

Yesterday, we were up early to do more packing. Big Daddy and his brother moved everything in our storage building to our storage unit. The Muffin and I went to our last Kindermusik class and then met Big Daddy at Nana & Pawpaw's. Big Daddy and I took my SUV to unload it and then drove around to look at houses and met with the builder that we've been talking to. He's supposed to get back with us on some home sites and house plans this week. Pray he comes up with something great! We used my mom as babysitter again while we were gone. The Muffin loves staying with Nana and is going to really enjoy being close to her extended family.

The Muffin and I are hanging out around the house today. I may take her to visit the greenhouse one last time. I've got a few things to do, but I was able to accomplish a lot last night and I want to try and give her a little extra attention. We'll be taking a load of baby necessities to the apartment tomorrow. I'll be signing the lease and sanitizing it so that everything will be move in-ready on Saturday. The home inspection and pest inspection on our house will also be tomorrow. As a former real estate broker, I'm hoping that these two things go well too.

On Saturday, my mom & dad, sister & brother-in-law, their trucks, a U-Haul, Bubba, Callie and The Muff along with me and Big Daddy will be doing our big move. Please pray that everything goes well and that we're able to get everything moved at one time. After that, I'll be doing my final clean of our first house. (sniff, sniff) I hope and pray that everything will be finished by the first of the week so that we can focus only on The Muffin and Baby Ellie's arrival.

Just in case you are keeping track, we'll have stuff in storage at my mom and dad's and a storage unit, as well as in storage at the apartment. That explains just one of the reasons we didn't just hire a professional mover. We'll be living with only the bare minimum of our belongings since we'll hopefully be moving into a new home soon.

Let the moving begin!

After we get into a new home, I'm officially never moving again.

I've been busy packing up non-essential items all morning with a break to go to Muff's doctor's appointment and to the grocery store. My mom and sister are coming tomorrow to help pack up more stuff and we should be moving a load of things into our storage unit on Monday. Next Saturday will be the big move when we take the majority of our stuff either to the apartment or to put into storage. I managed to take a load of things to my mom and dad's on Tuesday, so we have our belongings scattered everywhere. And I'm tired and 9 months pregnant to top it all off.

I think all of this should explain where I've been, where I am and where I'll be for at least the next couple of weeks...unless Baby Ellie decides to make an early appearance. Then I'll be in the hospital or caring for my two sweet girls with Big Daddy by my side.

I'm getting SO excited about welcoming Baby Ellie and being able to spend two whole weeks adjusting to life as a family of four. Having to move right now has definitely put a lot of strain and pressure on us with our due date (June7) so close. That's my big stress now...moving and delivering a baby smack dab in the middle of it all while trying to make sure that The Muffin is adjusting to all of the changes. But, I'm trying to take comfort in the fact that I get Big Daddy for two weeks after Ellie's birth and every night after that and I'll be so close to my mom, dad, sister and other family.
Big things are happening!!

A Few Pictures

And that's why I'm tired

So...I'm pooped and I have at least 6 hours before I'm off duty, as in Muff goes to bed. We have a pediatrician appointment in an hour and I have to get all of Muff's paperwork updated, as well as try to fill out forms for a baby that hasn't been born yet. The latter totally confuses me because I try to fill out the forms as they request, but I'm not sure of her birth date and stuff and I just get confused. Then to top it all off I'll have to go over the whole move-thing and figure out when Baby Ellie needs to start seeing her new pediatrician. You know, the one that I have yet to call?
I've spent the past two hours or so packing stuff that needs to be in climate-controlled storage, a.k.a. our little two bedroom apartment. We'll be in a two bedroom because that's all that was immediately available. We are planning to live with the bare necessities and use some of the extra space for storing our off-season clothes and pictures and things. Baby Ellie will have to share a room with her Mommy and Daddy. I guess it will be convenient, but not exactly what we had planned for our little baby. The Muffin will probably be living the best of all of us. She'll be closer to her Nana & Pawpaw, cousin Callie and a playground. Her room will be much like it is now and she gets to keep all of her toys out of storage. Big Daddy and I really hope to have permanent housing fast. We are trying not to put too much on our plates right now, so we may not make a permanent decision on building or buying until Baby Ellie is here and settled. I'm not planning to decorate at all, so my focus will be on taking care of my two girls and helping The Muffin get used to all of the changes the best we can.
I've only moved a couple of times my entire life. Needless to say, with one child here and another on the way, I have more stuff now than I did back then.

What's your best moving advice or tip??

Baby Belly-Week 37

Does it get any cheesier than this??? As you can tell, I'm without my handy dandy photo editing software and I had to post the picture as-is. I'm sure there's great editing software on Big Daddy's laptop, but I'm short on patience and time.
Well, it's week 37 and Baby Ellie is officially full term! She's directly on my bladder, I promise. She still kicks like crazy and does crazy tricks in there. My back pain is pretty much absent, but I have very strong Braxton Hicks contractions several times a day. This weeks doctor's appointment will be on Thursday, so we'll see how things are progressing..

The Muffin and I have a big day today. We have Kindermusik this morning and her three year check-up is this afternoon. All of our in-between time will be busy with running errands and packing. We have accepted an offer on our house, so we are going to try and be settled into an apartment in...two weeks. Two. Weeks. With. A. Baby. On. The. Way. I'm officially hoping that Baby Ellie bakes in the oven until her due date. After lots of consideration and discussion, we decided to bust our butts and try to be settled in an apartment an hour away when I go into labor just so that Baby Ellie can come "home" to some sort of order. We are heartbroken that she will not be able to live (outside of my belly) in our house and sleep in the room that I've prepared for her. She will definitely be stopping by to visit our house as soon as she's discharged from the hospital, though. We have neighbors that she needs to meet.
Please, please, please pray that everything goes okay with the whole selling process. As a former real estate broker, I've sat at the closing table too many times trying to make a deal work to think that we're in the clear. Also pray that our marriage survives!! All of this stress is really hard on us!
On a brighter note, The Muffin will be attending preschool in the fall at the same church that both Bubba & Callie went to. We're going by there this week to look around and register her for her class!
Then, on a sad note, Big Daddy and I will have to find a new church for our little family. This has been one of the hardest parts of planning the move. I wanted our little Ellie to be able to stay in the nursery with the nice ladies at our present church and hoped that she would fall in love with them just the way that Muff has fallen in love with Ms. Bell. Of course, Big Daddy and I do NOT want to leave this church for our own selfish reasons too. Big Daddy realy wants to drive the hour each Sunday, but leaving at 7:45 so that we could be at church in time for the early service with a three year old and a newborn doesn't sound like fun to me.

Pray, pray, pray.

The Waiting Game

I feel like I'm just sitting and waiting on Baby Ellie to arrive even though I'm three weeks and 2 days away from my due date. I was never this paranoid when I was expecting The Muffin, so I think I'm just excited and nervous and looking forward to Big Daddy being around for two whole weeks. I remind everyone at my doctor's office that I experienced NO labor when The Muffin was induced and that I have no idea what I'm doing. I had several severe contractions after I was being prepped for the c-section and my midwife, Peg's hand was up my you-know-what. Other than that, nothing. People seem to think that because it's your second child, you'll know when the time comes. I'm sure if labor really starts, I'll know. I'm also Group B Strep + again, so I'm a little paranoid about getting all of my antibiotics in before the birth.
With the recent developments in our family's saga (more on that sometime later) I think Baby Ellie should continue to bake. My Grandma always said that "they are easier to take care of in than they are out". There are times when I doubt this statement, but there are no dirty diapers, feedings or crying babies to deal with right now. I want Ellie to arrive safely and I know that she'll come when God wants her to. I am hoping that it doesn't happen at an inconvenient time, though.
I feel like I'm having pains and twinges that I've never felt before. I keep thinking that it will be soon and that she'll come early, but it's not exactly wishful thinking. I've felt better over the last few days in spite of the new pressure and back pain and I'd go on like this indefinitely as long as I get my baby in the end. The hardest part of feeling bad really is trying to take care of Muff. She keeps telling me that she wants me to feel better. She asks if Baby Ellie is hurting my belly and she continues to take care of me, when I should be taking care of her. She's such a sweet child...but with a bad temper.

Answered Prayers

Things are moving along in a positive way in all sorts of areas. I may not make it through the rest of the weekend without losing my mind or pulling my hair out. I'll post more details on all the stress sometime later.
Please say a prayer for the sanity of our little family.

The Muffin and I had a pretty good evening. We went for a nice walk and played outside. I fixed her chicken alfredo over veggie pasta (Wacky Mac) for dinner and she told me at least three times that it tasted really good. She actually said, "This tastes really good, Mom". Music to my ears, except I prefer to be called Mommy. She asked for seconds of pasta while she ate a few vegetables and lapped up her strawberry juice. I stayed pretty busy with her all evening and that helped keep my mind off of the back pain.

I'm hoping to sleep more than I did last night and that some of the pressure and pain that I'm having will ease up tomorrow. I'm sure it's wishful thinking, but we'll see. If there's any Baby Ellie news to report, I'll do a quick post.

Getting Closer

After 15 hours of extremely uncomfortable and sometimes painful back pain and pressure, The Muffin and I decided to take our complaints to the OB/GYN. We needed to leave the house anyway so that it could be shown and I knew that 12:45 would fall during the "slow" time at the doctor's office, so we decided to get everything checked out. Miss Muffinhead behaved the best that she could. Luckily, I was in to see midwife Rita within 5 minutes or so. Yes, a midwife and not the dreaded doctor!! Everything is fine, but things are progressing. Big Daddy is preparing for an early delivery even though I keep telling him that things could go fast, slow or stand still from here on out. As if my nearly constant discomfort isn't reason enough to want Baby Ellie here, I think we just want to see her chubby cheeks in person. And her big, squished up nose. And those feet. That tummy. All of her.
I want to enjoy what (right now) I can confidently say is my last pregnancy, but it's so hard. Caring for The Muffin 24/7 is wearing me out. I really don't feel like playing, but I force myself to. After about 5:00 in the evening, I'm useless. When we go on our evening walks it's all I can do not to throw myself down in the middle of our street. I don't even feel like taking a shower at the end of the day. Sweet Muffin tells me that she wants me to feel better. She wipes my tears when I cry. She gets me pillows without me having to ask. She takes care of me, just like I take care of her.
I cannot wait until my massage therapist comes back home on Friday. Until then , pray that I'm able to play when The Muffin wakes up from her nap, that we successfully build the little butterfly mobile for Baby Ellie's room and that the lady who loved our house today makes an offer.

Thank Heaven For Little...

Relax, no big news! Thanks for those of you who were getting worried about where I'd been.
Saturday morning, Big Daddy decided that he'd finally take the desktop out of the nursery and store it. I'm just now getting back on-line on his beloved laptop. Big Daddy was up late last night getting everything set up so that The Muffin can watch her videos on youtube while I shower at nights. I'm just now having a couple of minutes to post an update from yesterday's doctor's appointment and ultrasound.
I can officially say that Baby E is definitely a .........girl!!! Ms. Pam took a picture of her little girl parts for verification. Baby Ellie weighs approximately 7 pounds and 3 ounces, so she'll most likely weigh in at over 9 pounds! She seems to have chubby, chubby cheeks and looks beautiful to us! Her little head is sitting directly on my bladder, which was no surprise to me! I'd post the ultrasound pictures, but I'm without a scanner.
My doctor's visit was a huge disappointment. I was reminded why I love my midwives and try to always avoid seeing an actual OB/GYN. Next week's visit will be with a different doctor in the practice. Things are very busy for the midwives and doctors so I have to see the caregiver that's available. I actually have call in to the nurse on call to verify that I'm down for a midwife assisted delivery. We hope to have a VBAC, but if a c-section is necessary, I want it to be as pleasant of an experience as possible. I truly believe that having a midwife assist is my best option for a positive outcome.
Hopefully, I'll have everything fixed on the laptop soon and I'll be able to post on a more regular basis. I'm sure Auntie Lisa will post any baby updates, if Baby Ellie decides to come a little early.

Last night was the first time I'd ever touched Big Daddy's laptop so pardon any misspellings or silly errors.

The Baby Belly- (almost)36 weeks & Mother's Day

Normally, I just ask for a card on Mother's Day, but being this pregnant makes me think that I deserve a present. Big Daddy has already informed me that I'll probably get my Mother's Day gift on the day of Baby E's birth and that is fine with me. The pearl necklace and earrings that he gave me on the night of The Muffin's delivery will always be so special.

I just spent a few minutes trying on dresses for Sunday and looking for one that didn't make my belly look this huge. Then, I realized that it really is this huge. I'll be going to our "old" church for the last time with this baby in my belly and it may be the last time that I visit my mom and dad before Baby E's grand entrance. That really makes it seem like this baby is thisclose to coming out!

I finally have an idea of what to get my mom for Mother's Day. I've been thinking and looking, but now I'm pretty sure of what I'll be getting her. Now, it's just a matter of getting my pregnant hiney to the shop and picking out the perfect present. The Muff and I will attempt to make a Godmother card for my sister and I'm sure that will turn into a major art gift for everyone in the family.

I'm leaving you with a picture of the day that I really became a mother. I mothered many children before even being close to having a child of my own. When you take care of small children you immediately take on the role of a mother. I think you are a mother from the moment that you know that there's a baby in your belly or the first time that you see a picture of the baby that will soon be yours and I also think you can be a mother without ever having a child of your own.

This picture is the first picture of our girl on her original birthday. It's the day that I knew what it was like to love someone so much that I would do anything for them. When I thought that I would lose her, imagined what it would be like without her and and spent those few precious moments praying for her little life, I knew that I was a mother.

Thursday Ramblings

About 6:30 this morning, all ready for the hospital.

The Muffin's surgery went well this morning. We now have her little ear tubes in a container so that we can show them to Big Daddy when he comes home tomorrow.

My mom came yesterday evening to help with things today. She carried Muff through the hospital so that I didn't have to. On Tuesday, I told her that I didn't need help , but by Wednesday morning I was so glad that she was coming! I've been experiencing extreme physical exhaustion that seems to come from out of nowhere. I had felt fine today, but about an hour ago it hit me again and I felt like I could just ball up in the floor and go to sleep. It seems to have passed again for now.

As if I haven't said it a thousand times, this pregnancy is so different than when I was pregnant with The Muffin. First, it was the nausea and food cravings and then I found out what real baby kicks feel like. Now, I just feel like my body is getting ready and it never felt this way before. I'm so excited about Baby E's arrival and really trying to enjoy these last few weeks of being pregnant, for what very well may be the last time. (We're still undecided about that!) I don't want to rush Baby E because I know she'll come when she's ready and I don't want to wish away these last few weeks of feeling her move in my belly.

Progress

-Monday's 35 week midwife appointment- I saw Wesley this week. She is so energetic, excited and upbeat! My weight was not discussed so I've decided I'll let my total weight gain be a surprise when I pick up my medical records sometime after the birth. Without all of the graphic details, let's just say that Baby E is definitely head down and my body is starting to prepare itself for the birth. Wesley said that my feelings about delivering a little early could be correct, but I could also stay like this for a while. This is as far as I ever got with The Muffin on my own. My next appoimtment will be on Tuesday. I'll have the ultrasound and then I'll have to see an OB because the midwives are so busy.

-The Muffin is preparing for her new role as "big sister"- Big Daddy and I took her to visit the nursery in the hospital on Monday. We took her by the room that we were in after her birth and showed her the waiting room. We also talked with the "evil" nurse that kneaded my stomach about two hours after my c-section. (This is when I first realized that I'd nearly lost my voice because of being intubated during the surgery. I tried so hard to yell, "Oh, Dear Lord help me", but nothing would come out...very frustrating.) Turns out she's not really evil! She told Muffin that she remembered her when she was just a tiny baby and that she would make a great big sister! Since Muff is having her ear surgery on Thursday, we had to go back to the hospital for her pre-op work. I decided to take her to the nursery again as a reward for being so good. We were able to see a new baby through the window. The Muffin was in awe!

-I'm attempting to declutter my life- I spend less time on-line now, than I have in years. I still read all of my "favorite" blogs and I'll continue to, but I don't comment as much. I've pretty much given up my bad habit of reading celebrity "news". I don't check my vasa previa email three times a day like I did when I was so down and needed the community and support so much. In an effort to declutter more, I'm going to get off of myspace. It's not like I even think to check it anymore. There are very few tv shows that I watch and I can truly say that most of my time is spent doing Muffin-related things. Blogging is really the only thing I do on-line that's selfish and it's really about family and sharing. It's so much easier than scrapbooking, it's free and it documents the fun stuff in our little familiy's life.

-The Muffin is starting to get rid of...shoes (gasp)- During last week's trip to the consignment store to drop off old baby clothes I found a treasure. New ruby slippers!!! They looked practically new, were $3.50 and a size 11. The size was a small issue since Muff wears an 8, but she loves to wear over-sized shoes. I took them off the shelf and she lit up. Nana bought her the first ruby slippers in September of last year and they have been lovingly worn just about every single day since. I wasn't going to mention getting rid of them, but then The Muffin asked if she could still wear them. I told her yes and then she asked if she could throw them away. I said yes again and she did it! Now, she only has about 15 pairs of shoes!

Now, I guess we need to work on table manners! Just kidding!! The Muffin loves strawberries...especailly the juice! At least she managed to keep her hair out of her plate.

Wordless Wednesday...with captions

Helping Daddy mow the yard.

Hard work!

The Muffin's birthday outfit from Aunt Lisa.

Muff's birthday dress that Nana made.

Another birthday dress from Ms. April & Christopher.

What I Learned This Week

Hop on over to Musings of a Housewife to visit the "What I learned This Week" bloggy carnival. Here are a few things that I learned this week.

-Three-year old tantrums aren't any better than two-year old tantrums.
-Being away from Big Daddy is totally messing The Muffin up.
-I feel like a bad mom because of the above two things I learned this week.
-I'm ready for Baby E to arrive...I think.
-I'm not the only one who thinks that Baby E could possibly arrive before her scheduled due date of June 7. Thank You, midwife Wesley!
-Having a clean windshield makes me feel so much better.
-Having Big Daddy scrub the bugs off of the windshield makes me feel great!
-We love K.ing's Hawa.iian Bread in this house...a lot.
-The Muffin is pays attention to me, even when I think she's not. I asked when Baby E was coming out. She usually says in June, but his time she said, "well, through your birth canal". I was so proud even if some people think that's TMI for a three year old.

The Baby Belly-Week 35

Our Baby-to-be is getting bigger and I can definitely distinguish the little body parts as they poke and prod my belly from the inside. As I say often, I cannot believe we've come this far, this fast. This pregnancy really has flown by. Although I've had lots of aches and pains recently, I'm cherishing every little movement that Baby E makes...even the ones that hurt! I keep telling Big Daddy to remind me of how I feel right now when we talk about having another one in a couple of years. It has really been difficult to be a full-time SAHM to Muff and be pregnant. Once you add in the whole nearly-single thing that's been going on for the past few weeks it just gets worse. I try so hard to do all the things that I've always done with The Muffin, but it hasn't been happening lately.

I now have stretch marks on each side of my belly button, as well as two little ones right above my c-section scar. Needless to say, I don't like these stretch marks, but it doesn't really matter in the long run. I keep saying that I think this baby will arrive before the due date (June 7) and I feel like I'm already carrying a giant! The Muffin weighed in at 8 pounds and 8 ounces, so I'm anxious to see this one's weight. I think we'll be getting an estimate at the 36 week appointment and we'll also be having another ultrasound. Please say a prayer that Baby E is healthy and that everything looks okay.

My mom is getting her bag packed and we have our preliminary plan in place for what happens if I go into labor on my own. My bag is sitting in the nursery, ready to go as well. No matter what, it won't be long before Baby E makes a debut.

And THIS is what I'm doing

It's Saturday and The Muffin slept "late". What??? That never happens on a Saturday. She likes to sleep late on Sunday when we're trying to get out the door before 8:45 to make it to the early service at church. And I slept "late" too. Of course, there was a reason. We had a showing scheduled for our house at 9:00, so Muff and I needed to be out the door a little before then. (Pray that these people buy our house)
I slept fairly good and of course because I'm OCD the house was ready to show when we rolled out of bed. We gobbled down some cereal and went to The Depot for the city's Farmer's Market. I bought some beautiful asparagus and the sweetest strawberries I've ever had in my life. After that, we went to the grocery store (again) to get food for our weekend with Big Daddy. He should be home within the hour from his first Saturday having to work in over two years. I thought I'd try to cook dinner for him tonight.
I'm trying to get up the energy to go outside and plant the Mandevilla that The Muffin and I bought yesterday, but it's not happening. Big Daddy offered to do it when he gets home. How will he do that, mow the yard, wash my car (still need to ask him to do this) and enjoy a little reunion with The Muffin??? One more reason our current arrangement is causing trouble. (Pray, pray, pray)
The Muffin and I went for a nice,slow, l o n g and leisurely walk with her little duck on wheels after lunch. The duck had a hard time staying on the edge of the street and The Muffin insisted that "he wasn't a good listener and just wanted to walk straight to the stop sign". Bad duck. Bad. Duck.
Our walk totally zapped my energy and left me with horrible pelvic pain (TMI??), but I just had a small glass of P.epsi ONE and I'm determined to get planting before Big Daddy gets home. I'm afraid that I start getting that totally-pregnant-and-miserable look all too easy these days. It doesn't make me feel any better when I'm about to urinate on myself and trying to keep from using another public restroom on a short outing and then a stranger says "how much longer?" or "when are you due?". And if they have that concerned or amazed tone in their voice when I answer, it's all I can do not to cry or scream or have a temper tantrum.

Mommy Guilt

I realized yesterday on my way home from Nana & Pawpaw's that we're entering one of the most challenging times of our marriage. I'm thankful for the many blessings that we have, but this is still a difficult time, relatively speaking.

When I voice my concerns about what's going on with our family, I often hear that children are so resilient. It's true, they are. But try telling that to a Mommy who wants her baby to be happy.

Yesterday as we drove home The Muffin was upset and she was saying things that you never want your three year old to think or feel or say. We were both crying...before we were out of the driveway. We took turns comforting each other. She was so tired from her busy day that she cried until she went to sleep 10 minutes into our drive. I cried off and on the whole drive home. Traffic was light so it only took about 50 minutes. I try to hold it together when she's upset, but there have been a few times that she's cried over missing Big Daddy that I've cried with her. We hold each other and then we pray and she seems to feel better. She knows that she's not alone.

I spent lots of time convincing Big Daddy that this job choice was best and that we'd make anything work, that I put me and The Muffin on the back burner. Now, I wonder what I was thinking. Last night, I realized that my biggest concerns with the changes in our lives, moving and welcoming Baby E all revolve around The Muffin. In the end, we'll be fine. No matter what, she really is the glue.

I'm suffering from a bad case of "Mommy Guilt". I want to play more, do more "fun" things and for goodness sakes, take a bath with Muff when she begs me to! (I had to explain that I may get stuck in the tub and there would be no Big Daddy to help get me out. And I have no idea why she asked me to take a bath with her!) I want to make our current situation work and I don't want her to ever feel sad about missing Big Daddy. I know I'm not alone in my Mommy Guilt thanks to Lisa.

I'm also suffering from "Wife Guilt". When Big Daddy comes home I want to make things nice for him. I try to cook good meals and make sure that he gets to do things that he wants to do. I try to have the fridge and pantry stocked with things that he likes. We try to focus on what needs to be done while he's here and doing nice things with The Muffin. We get very little time alone together and it's going to be even less when Baby E arrives. (Our last "date" before Baby E was spent with Muff asleep on my lap.) Wednesday night at my parents' house I fell asleep with The Muffin and Big Daddy woke me up when he was ready to get in the bed. All I wanted was a few minutes of cuddling on the couch before I fell asleep and I slept through my window of opportunity. I felt "Wife Guilt" big time.

What is your greatest "Mommy Guilt" or "Wife Guilt"??