In my "former" life (a.k.a., before motherhood) I was a real estate broker. I know all about deadlines and contracts falling apart and not closing at the closing table. Even though things seem to be falling into place and going well with the sell of our house, I'm cautious.
As parents, Big Daddy and I want what's best for The Muffin and Baby Ellie. We have made lots of decisions based on them. If it were just the two of us, Big Daddy may have even stayed with his former employer because he loved the company that much. We would have faced an even more uncertain future just because we could have afforded to do so without hurting any little lives.
Over the past week, we have listened to countless people ask, "So are you going to wait and move after the baby comes?". It's sort of like the comments that people made because our house was for sale and I still tried to prepare the nursery by painting it and putting a crib in there. Both of these were sort of a no-brainers for us. We're up against a deadline, people! It's not exactly what we wanted to do, but it is definitely what we felt is best for our entire little family. We decided that being even partially settled into an apartment when Baby Ellie comes would be better than trying to move and care for a baby while I'm recovering and we're adjusting to life as a family of four. I hope this also gives The Muffin a little time to get used to her new room before she has to get used to her new baby sister, too. Poor Muffin is going through enough as it is. Big Daddy will be off work for two weeks when Baby Ellie is born and we want to spend this time as a family and hopefully, be able to do some fun stuff. We don't want to be moving and packing and unpacking our lives.
I guess I'd finally had enough yesterday. Let's just say I received a phone call. (You know who it was from.) She asked if we were going to stay in the house for "a couple of weeks after the baby was born to get settled". I explained (again) when the due date was, when the closing date was and that we had spent the past week packing up and that my mom and sister had spent the biggest part of their day on Saturday assisting us. Her suggestion was that I let "them" move us into the apartment while I'm in the hospital. I tried not to sound angry when I explained to her that "they" (my family-mom & dad, sister & brother-in-law) had done more than enough for us already and that I would not dream of asking more of them and I also wanted to unpack my own stuff because I wasn't lazy and could do it a lot easier now than I could do it while caring for Muff and a new baby. I also reminded her that they had let Big Daddy stay at their house and made room for me and The Muffin to come and visit and tried to do everything that they could to make all of this easier on us. AND, that they don't mind, don't try to get out of helping us after they've said that they would and are always ready to go above and beyond the call of their role as family. And that while I'm in the hospital with Big Daddy at my side we can rest easy knowing that The Muffin will be safe and happy with them. Not to mention that several times over the past few weeks we've left The Muffin with my family so that we could do something quick only to unexpectedly be gone for an hour or two. And who has kept The Muffin (overnight) for many of my doctor's appointments??
I have no problem doing the math. Baby Ellie is due on June 7, ten days away. Our house is scheduled to close on June 16. If Baby Ellie doesn't arrive on her own, my labor will most-likely be induced on June 11 or 12. I have to stay in the hospital for at least 48 hours because I'm GBS+. If I have to have a c-section assisted delivery, I'll be there at least one day longer.
If we'd had things our way all of this would have happened a month earlier or later. (Be careful what you pray for because it really will happen in God's time) Big Daddy has been away from us for most of each week since he started his new job on April 6. This has been emotionally hard on Muff and we need and want to be together as a family. People seem to think that she just goes on about her life while he's gone and picks up where we left off when he comes back. I can promise you that this isn't the case. The Muffin has shed many tears over her Daddy being gone and I've cried by her side so many times. Being together every evening works for us.
I guess all of this could have been summed up by saying people should "keep their opinions to themselves" or "mind their own business". I just felt like it needed an explanation.
3 days ago
2 comments:
Sadly or maybe not, I think we have the same family dynamics. We can always depend on our family but not the other side.
Try to ignore all those negative nelly's and concentrate on your expanding family! You are under so much stress and need to just keep on keepin' on!
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