Top to bottom, our Baby-to-be is now measuring around 13 inches. She weighs about a pound and a half and is getting her baby fat. I continue to be amazed that we are this far along! I am enjoying all of the little kicks and I'm still in baby bliss. 
(this is the can't hide anything maternity dress)
(this is the can't hide anything maternity dress)I was so focused on the ultrasound and all of the issues that I had with The Muffin's delivery for so many weeks. After the ultrasound and lots of support from my friends in the IVPF email group, I have put a lot of my fears to rest and decided to have faith that everything will be better this time.
I spend most of my time (when I think about baby stuff) planning. I plan how I want the delivery to be, introducing Maggie to Baby Ellie, and how I want things to be after we're home. My main focus is on breastfeeding right now. I still feel bad that I only nursed Maggie for a few days, but I'm certain I would have lost my mind if I'd try to do it any longer. Big Daddy and I were so afraid and insecure and our sweet Muffin cried so much! I'm so thankful that my midwives and Muff's pediatrician were supportive of our decision to nurse and our decision to give it up and go with formula. When I look back, I wish I had stuck with it, but I know that I had so many issues surrounding the traumatic delivery that I was close to loosing it!
I keep thinking about how I knew we would never have another baby on the day after Muff's birth. When my midwife told me what happened during the delivery I told her that I'd never have another baby. She told me that I would change my mind and of course, I did. For so long Big Daddy and I were completely content with thinking of The Muffin as an only child. One day I began to see her as a big sister. She is so caring, sensitive and considerate...at times. I knew all along that I couldn't imagine never growing another baby, but I couldn't face all of the fears.
Now, we look at The Muffin and all of the joy that she brings us. We make plans for Ellie to be welcomed into our lives and we can't rule out not having another baby. We'd always planned for only two, but having a baby changes everything.
5 comments:
I always wanted only two children, but I can't imagine not having Joshua. He is so much of his own individual self and has added so much love to our household. God's plans are definately way better than our own!
Plans certainly do change...either by partially our choice or because God's plan for us was different. I used to think I would always have 2 babies and talked just like that was a mandate but now I realize that I was allowed one pregnancy and God's plans for another pregnancy just may not be. So who knows what our futures hold....a baby does certainly change everything...for the best!
Babies truly do change everything! Daniel and I wanted 7 babies... yes SEVEN! I think that number has lowered considerably, LOL!
Props to you for wearing a DARING maternity dress!!! You look great and so does your blog!
I always thought I would have a house full. Well, OK, two, but God had other plans for my life I guess. I'm still waiting to find out what the plan is.......and enjoying every minute along the way.
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