Baby Ellie, It's Your Birthday!

It's so hard to believe that you are one year old!

One year ago, we met you, our sweet Baby Ellie. Eight pounds and eight ounces of little sister.
Maggie thought you were worth the long wait from September all the way until June.

Daddy and I thought you were worth the labor and the delivery...and the recovery with that horrible infection.

I will always wish that things had been a little different around the time of your birth. We wanted you to live in our old house and you were only able to visit it (outside of my belly) once. We weren't able to bring you home to our new house and we had to live in that tiny apartment for your first 7 weeks.

None of that really mattered to you. All you needed and wanted was to be loved, cuddled and worn. I will never forget putting you in the sling for the first time on the day that we brought you home from the hospital. You were so fussy and I had so much stuff to put away. Your Daddy took your sister to the playground and I put you in the pouch sling with the hopes of getting our bags unpacked. You went to sleep within seconds and I thanked God that you liked the sling!
I'm still thankful that you like to be worn and that you like the stroller for a few minutes at a time too.

You now walk more than you crawl and you are into everything.
You say mama and dada all the time and you like to bark like a dog and hoot like an owl.
You always go to sleep on your own after I put you in your bed. I am SO thankful for this.
You love to play outside and you cry when you know that it's time to go inside. You are a little drama queen, just like your sister.

You are a delight.
And now, you are one.

And Ellie, I'm sorry that you have a blog as a baby book.

It's Been A Year

I cannot believe it's been a year since this (the reason for this blog) happened.

That's right! It has been exactly one year since we found out we'd been successful and were in fact expanding our family! (I still mark the day that we found out about Baby Maggie, August 15, 2005, but I didn't post about it.)

I suspected that I might be pregnant, but it was my sweet mommy-friend A that convinced me I had to go home, take a test and call her immediately with the results. I did just that and then I called Big Daddy, but didn't tell him, then I took Muff's picture, called the Ob's office and then I e-mailed my special friend Michele. Yes, I told two of my girlfriends before I told Big Daddy. I was over the moon! A called several times that evening to see what Big Daddy thought about the happy news. The following week A and I told our other special mommy-friend K after Kindermusik and we celebrated by going to Gymnastics with our kiddos and then out to lunch. Now, in just a few weeks, A will be welcoming a sweet, little girl of her own. So much can happen in a year!

I didn't know I would be blogging the whole pregnancy (with baby belly pictures), delivery and our life after the big event. It wasn't until I was almost twelve weeks preggers that I told my family, my aunt and the blog was born. I look back on all of the silly posts and pictures and I'm so glad that I have them. I cannot believe how my belly transformed, how much can happen in a year and my goodness, how much The Muffin has grown.

I had aches, pains, complaints and lots of dramatic life-changing things that happened during the pregnancy. The things that I loved the most about being pregnant (besides just being pregnant) with Baby Ellie would have to be The Muffin's excitement and sweet gestures, making my mom and sister SO happy and having my mommy-friends A & K to have lunch with on Mondays. I don't know how I would have made it without my mommy-friends and their encouragement and sometimes sympathy.

Well...Happy Anniversary Baby Ellie. We love you bunches and bunches.

Losing It

So...Baby Ellie was born 5 weeks ago and I'm back in pre-pregnancy clothes (at least the pre-pregnancy clothes that were still fitting at the end of last summer) but I need to lose a few (6) pounds to be at my pre-pregnancy weight and to feel comfortable. Luckily, this weight came off with absolutely no effort, but I think the effortless weight loss has come to an end. To reach my real weight goal, I'd like to lose 15 pounds. I've lost weight before, so I know I can do it, but I'm definitely lacking will power more now that I'm a SAHM of two.
We are planning to get back into our routine of taking a family walk every evening. For some reason, that has been so hard while living in the apartment. Our new neighborhood is a great place for walking, so my mom and sister are planning to come over for walks in the evening. I'm even thinking that I may do a little jogging/running alone after the kids are in bed...maybe. It may be a little more realistic to say I'll be running from them!

If you have any weight loss/exercise advice, spill it!

Baby Belly-Week 37

Does it get any cheesier than this??? As you can tell, I'm without my handy dandy photo editing software and I had to post the picture as-is. I'm sure there's great editing software on Big Daddy's laptop, but I'm short on patience and time.
Well, it's week 37 and Baby Ellie is officially full term! She's directly on my bladder, I promise. She still kicks like crazy and does crazy tricks in there. My back pain is pretty much absent, but I have very strong Braxton Hicks contractions several times a day. This weeks doctor's appointment will be on Thursday, so we'll see how things are progressing..

The Muffin and I have a big day today. We have Kindermusik this morning and her three year check-up is this afternoon. All of our in-between time will be busy with running errands and packing. We have accepted an offer on our house, so we are going to try and be settled into an apartment in...two weeks. Two. Weeks. With. A. Baby. On. The. Way. I'm officially hoping that Baby Ellie bakes in the oven until her due date. After lots of consideration and discussion, we decided to bust our butts and try to be settled in an apartment an hour away when I go into labor just so that Baby Ellie can come "home" to some sort of order. We are heartbroken that she will not be able to live (outside of my belly) in our house and sleep in the room that I've prepared for her. She will definitely be stopping by to visit our house as soon as she's discharged from the hospital, though. We have neighbors that she needs to meet.
Please, please, please pray that everything goes okay with the whole selling process. As a former real estate broker, I've sat at the closing table too many times trying to make a deal work to think that we're in the clear. Also pray that our marriage survives!! All of this stress is really hard on us!
On a brighter note, The Muffin will be attending preschool in the fall at the same church that both Bubba & Callie went to. We're going by there this week to look around and register her for her class!
Then, on a sad note, Big Daddy and I will have to find a new church for our little family. This has been one of the hardest parts of planning the move. I wanted our little Ellie to be able to stay in the nursery with the nice ladies at our present church and hoped that she would fall in love with them just the way that Muff has fallen in love with Ms. Bell. Of course, Big Daddy and I do NOT want to leave this church for our own selfish reasons too. Big Daddy realy wants to drive the hour each Sunday, but leaving at 7:45 so that we could be at church in time for the early service with a three year old and a newborn doesn't sound like fun to me.

Pray, pray, pray.

The Baby Belly- (almost)36 weeks & Mother's Day

Normally, I just ask for a card on Mother's Day, but being this pregnant makes me think that I deserve a present. Big Daddy has already informed me that I'll probably get my Mother's Day gift on the day of Baby E's birth and that is fine with me. The pearl necklace and earrings that he gave me on the night of The Muffin's delivery will always be so special.

I just spent a few minutes trying on dresses for Sunday and looking for one that didn't make my belly look this huge. Then, I realized that it really is this huge. I'll be going to our "old" church for the last time with this baby in my belly and it may be the last time that I visit my mom and dad before Baby E's grand entrance. That really makes it seem like this baby is thisclose to coming out!

I finally have an idea of what to get my mom for Mother's Day. I've been thinking and looking, but now I'm pretty sure of what I'll be getting her. Now, it's just a matter of getting my pregnant hiney to the shop and picking out the perfect present. The Muff and I will attempt to make a Godmother card for my sister and I'm sure that will turn into a major art gift for everyone in the family.

I'm leaving you with a picture of the day that I really became a mother. I mothered many children before even being close to having a child of my own. When you take care of small children you immediately take on the role of a mother. I think you are a mother from the moment that you know that there's a baby in your belly or the first time that you see a picture of the baby that will soon be yours and I also think you can be a mother without ever having a child of your own.

This picture is the first picture of our girl on her original birthday. It's the day that I knew what it was like to love someone so much that I would do anything for them. When I thought that I would lose her, imagined what it would be like without her and and spent those few precious moments praying for her little life, I knew that I was a mother.

The Baby Belly-Week 35

Our Baby-to-be is getting bigger and I can definitely distinguish the little body parts as they poke and prod my belly from the inside. As I say often, I cannot believe we've come this far, this fast. This pregnancy really has flown by. Although I've had lots of aches and pains recently, I'm cherishing every little movement that Baby E makes...even the ones that hurt! I keep telling Big Daddy to remind me of how I feel right now when we talk about having another one in a couple of years. It has really been difficult to be a full-time SAHM to Muff and be pregnant. Once you add in the whole nearly-single thing that's been going on for the past few weeks it just gets worse. I try so hard to do all the things that I've always done with The Muffin, but it hasn't been happening lately.

I now have stretch marks on each side of my belly button, as well as two little ones right above my c-section scar. Needless to say, I don't like these stretch marks, but it doesn't really matter in the long run. I keep saying that I think this baby will arrive before the due date (June 7) and I feel like I'm already carrying a giant! The Muffin weighed in at 8 pounds and 8 ounces, so I'm anxious to see this one's weight. I think we'll be getting an estimate at the 36 week appointment and we'll also be having another ultrasound. Please say a prayer that Baby E is healthy and that everything looks okay.

My mom is getting her bag packed and we have our preliminary plan in place for what happens if I go into labor on my own. My bag is sitting in the nursery, ready to go as well. No matter what, it won't be long before Baby E makes a debut.

Mommy Guilt

I realized yesterday on my way home from Nana & Pawpaw's that we're entering one of the most challenging times of our marriage. I'm thankful for the many blessings that we have, but this is still a difficult time, relatively speaking.

When I voice my concerns about what's going on with our family, I often hear that children are so resilient. It's true, they are. But try telling that to a Mommy who wants her baby to be happy.

Yesterday as we drove home The Muffin was upset and she was saying things that you never want your three year old to think or feel or say. We were both crying...before we were out of the driveway. We took turns comforting each other. She was so tired from her busy day that she cried until she went to sleep 10 minutes into our drive. I cried off and on the whole drive home. Traffic was light so it only took about 50 minutes. I try to hold it together when she's upset, but there have been a few times that she's cried over missing Big Daddy that I've cried with her. We hold each other and then we pray and she seems to feel better. She knows that she's not alone.

I spent lots of time convincing Big Daddy that this job choice was best and that we'd make anything work, that I put me and The Muffin on the back burner. Now, I wonder what I was thinking. Last night, I realized that my biggest concerns with the changes in our lives, moving and welcoming Baby E all revolve around The Muffin. In the end, we'll be fine. No matter what, she really is the glue.

I'm suffering from a bad case of "Mommy Guilt". I want to play more, do more "fun" things and for goodness sakes, take a bath with Muff when she begs me to! (I had to explain that I may get stuck in the tub and there would be no Big Daddy to help get me out. And I have no idea why she asked me to take a bath with her!) I want to make our current situation work and I don't want her to ever feel sad about missing Big Daddy. I know I'm not alone in my Mommy Guilt thanks to Lisa.

I'm also suffering from "Wife Guilt". When Big Daddy comes home I want to make things nice for him. I try to cook good meals and make sure that he gets to do things that he wants to do. I try to have the fridge and pantry stocked with things that he likes. We try to focus on what needs to be done while he's here and doing nice things with The Muffin. We get very little time alone together and it's going to be even less when Baby E arrives. (Our last "date" before Baby E was spent with Muff asleep on my lap.) Wednesday night at my parents' house I fell asleep with The Muffin and Big Daddy woke me up when he was ready to get in the bed. All I wanted was a few minutes of cuddling on the couch before I fell asleep and I slept through my window of opportunity. I felt "Wife Guilt" big time.

What is your greatest "Mommy Guilt" or "Wife Guilt"??

The Baby Belly- Week 34

Our Baby-to-be is around 5 pounds now and approximately 18 inches long! I'm too lazy to take a real belly picture, so here's a shot from yesterday's party.

After three days of birthday preparation and celebration and time spent on my feet, they are swollen and I officially have no ankles or "cankles" as Big Daddy likes to say. I had two men at church ask me when my due date was. Men don't normally ask this, so I'm thinking that I have the "ready to pop" look or they noticed the way that I walk and my lovely "cankles". Either way, I understand why women say that they are ready to have their babies. I want Baby E to bake for the full 40 weeks, but I understand why expectant mommies say they are ready.

I had the oppurtunity to talk with the wife of our Associate Pastor for Families after our Sunday school class yesterday. I needed some advice on how to discusss omething with The Muffin. She had been praying over a dead caterpillar for a while and when she realized it was gone (the rain washed it away) she assumed that Jesus had raised it from the dead. I think her exact words were "it is risen, it is risen, the stone just rooolllllllled away"...or something like that. Since baking the resurrection biscuits she loves the Easter story. You should hear her version using a piece of turkey as the tomb and a slice of cheese as Jesus. Needless to say, she's brilliant and fascinating!

Anyway...after church yesterday we had lunch and then I prepped for the party. After everyone left, I loaded the dishwasher, washed a sink full of party dishes, swept, mopped, and vacuumed so that I wouldn't have so much to do today (as a single again parent). Then, we headed over to Big Daddy's friends' house for...male bonding, I guess. The Muffin played with her friend and I held the sweetest baby and chatted with the other mommy. Big Daddy and his friend went outside and played with guns. A good time was had by all, but we didn't leave until 8:30. We came home, tag-teamed The Muffin's bath and then I put her to bed. Big Daddy loaded the car for his week away and I tried to put my megaginormous feet up to reduce the swelling...and folded a load of laundry.

The Muffin has several new outfits and shoes, but she quickly picked out a dress for Kindermusik today with no drama. A picture and another post will follow later today.

The Baby Belly- Week 33

Our Baby-to-be is a little over 4 pounds and nearly 18 inches long! She's busy working on her central nervous system and getting excited about meeting her Mommy, Daddy and Big Sister! I can tell that my belly has grown over the last week because of a couple of broken veins that have just appeared. I feel SO big! And I swear my butt is not completely flat like this picture makes it look! Big Daddy and I are talking about potential summer vacation possibilities to take with our Muffin and Baby E in tow. One of many "firsts" as a family of four!

Tomorrow, I have an appointment with my midwife, Peggy. She's the one who attended my scheduled induction when we were waiting on The Muffin. My OB office has been so busy that this will be the first time I've had an appointment with her during this pregnancy.

Tomorrow is also the 3 year anniversary of the day before The Muffin's due date. This whole week I know that my mind will be flooded with what was happening in our lives three years ago and what almost happened and what we would have done if we'd lost our sweet Muffin. I remember April 20 because it was the day before my due date and my midwives "knew" that I'd be in L&D before my next appointment on Monday. My membranes were stripped again and Big Daddy and I spent the weekend hoping and praying that I would go into labor naturally. Thank Goodness the Lord doesn't answer all of our prayers! Ive just sent off my donation to the IVPF in Muffin's honor, so it's officially her birthday week.

Things to be thankful for this Thursday

Sweetly, sleeping toddler.

Text messages from Big Daddy.

The three shades of hot pink that made my Muffin somewhat happy this morning.

This girl when she's hard at work.

Even though the Ellie Belly gets in my way, causes me discomfort and makes me feel like a cow, I'm thankful for it. This sweet baby provides lots of entertainment for me and The Muffin. Baby E seems to put on her best shows in the mornings and evenings!And because I'm all about keeping it real, I'm sharing the bare Ellie Belly at almost 33 weeks...linea nigra, big, blue veins and all. Remember, the camera adds ten pounds.

The Baby Belly- Week 32

WOW!! Just 8 more weeks (or so) to go!! No picture this week, but I might have some Easter pictures to share a little later.

Our sweet Baby-to-be is nearly 17 inches long and weighs around 4 pounds! The baby moves around so much, but soon there won't be enough room to move so freely. I have times where I feel just like the baby is trying to poke it's way out with what feels like elbows and knees pressing against my sides. Although I've been increasingly uncomfortable lately, I am cherishing ever little move that this sweet baby makes. I know it will be all too soon that I'll be holding her in my arms and will not be feeling her every move.

I'm still a little anxious about all that's ahead of us. I'm looking forward to seeing the baby at our next ultrasound and hoping that everything checks out okay. I feel like I'm surrounded by sick little babies and it seems like more and more of a miracle to have a normal delivery and a healthy baby. With everything that happened last time, I keep telling myself that things have to go better for us with this delivery. Our sweet Muffin is such a miracle and a blessing and we truly do not know what in the world we'd do without her. Even though Ellie hasn't made her debut, (and hopefully will bake for several weeks longer) we already have such a bond with her and love her more than we could ever describe.

Lazy and Lonely

I'm really far from lazy, but I long to be lazy. I swear I've gone up and down the stairs a thousand times today. My back is hurting, my feet want to be rubbed and Baby E is kicking like crazy...that's the best part of right now. As for the lonely part...I'm just feeling lonely.

The Muffin started out extremely grumpy. I asked if she was tired from the 4+ times (from 11:56 pm to 3.40am) that she woke up during the night. In the most aggravated voice she said, "I didn't wake you up, you woke me up!". We continued to bicker back and forth and down the stairs into the kitchen for at least ten minutes before her mood changed. I decided that we should go out for the morning. We went to Wally World and had a delightful shopping experience. We came home had lunch, play time and Muff took a nap. When she woke up we headed to the grocery store for a couple of things that we forgot yesterday. The rest of the evening was pretty pleasant and uneventful other than watching the C.harlie B.rown Easter special.

We'll be going to visit Big Daddy (and my family) tomorrow. We are leaving after our Storytime Egg Hunt. I realized this morning just how many funny things that The Muffin does during the day. I normally tell Big Daddy about them over dinner, but when he's not here, I just forget about them. I sat down during Muff's nap and sent him an email with a few of her cutest moments and a little update as to what was going on around here.
Here's a little excerpt:

-You know how my belly pokes out from below my shirt and above my pj pants? Muffin was in the middle of telling me something and said, "Oh! Your belly is sticking out. It's getting so big.". She adjusted my shirt and then it slid back up and she said "Oh, no." in an aggravated voice. We've started calling my belly "The Ellie Belly".

-She had a big temper tantrum over what jacket to wear this morning. After I finally had her all fixed and put her in the car I asked what was making her cry. In her most pitiful voice said, "I just miss my Daddy". I'm sure she was just saying it so that I'd feel sorry for her...which I did.

-She saw the Disney Princess Spaghetti O's at Wal-Mart and asked for some. When we were eating them at lunch she said they were really tasty and tasted like princesses.

-I swear our yard looks greener after yesterday's rain. They mowed Mary's yard today and it looks thick, lush and not like it was full of weeds at all.

-Cinnamon toast may be the new chocolate chip pancake. How exciting is that !?!

And right now you're thinking, "That girl has some kind of excitng life!".

The Baby Belly- Week 31

Our Baby-to-be is approximately 17 inches long and weighs nearly 4 pounds!! I can feel elbows, knees and feet poking around in my belly. Sometimes I think that the baby is knocking on my tummy! I have so many aches and pains, but I'm trying to enjoy every minute of feeling this sweet baby move around, just in case it is our last. And in case you're wondering if we secretly have plans for more babies, I'm not sure we really know. Big Daddy says he isn't so sure that he can go through another pregnancy. I'm not sure that I want to go through another one, but I cannot imagine never doing it again.

This may be the most comfortable maternity shirt ever! It makes me look megaginormous, but it's super-comfy and I love the color. I think it's part mu-mu or something, but it's O.ld N.avy Maternity and it was super-dee-duper cheap.

The Baby Belly-Week 30

Our Baby-to-be weighs approximately 3 pounds now and is nearly 16 inches long! Her skin is changing from red to pink as fat deposits under her skin. I cannot believe that we'll meet our baby in only 10 more weeks!

The past couple of weeks have been tremendously hard on me, both physically and emotionally. Sometimes I feel like The Muffin and Big Daddy are trying to drive me crazy. My body aches...a lot. I try not to complain, but there are times when I feel so bad I could cry. I never felt like this when I was pregnant with Muff. My belly has also grown in the past couple of weeks and I feel huge. Big Daddy even commented this morning that I had gotten more round in the past couple of days. I guess I should say,"Yay!!". I feel like a cow. No offense to cows, because everyone knows that I heart cows...especially brown ones.

No matter how bad I feel, I am very much aware of what a sweet little blessing this is growing in my belly. I'm looking forward to getting a preview of our baby's face at the 36 week ultrasound. I continue to wonder if "it" is really a girl, so I hope to get confirmation. I've also found myself worrying about the baby's health more. There are SO many sick babies everywhere I turn. For the first time in this pregnancy, I'm worried less about Vasa Previa, VCI and my placenta than I am about everything else.

The Baby Belly-Week 29

Our Baby-to-be weighs approximately 3 pounds, is over 15 inches long and can blink her sweet, little eyes!

Once again, I cannot believe that we are in week 29! I should caution you about the picture, it's of my naked baby belly. I find it somewhat gross, but it's fascinating to see what our bodies can do. No matter what, it's an amazing miracle to think that there's a baby growing in my belly. It freaks me out a little sometimes.

I'm wearing what used to be my favorite maternity jeans. They were too big for a while, but now they try to roll down under my belly and are terribly uncomfortable. I just took them off and put on my pink and chocolate damask print pj pants. When The Muffin wakes up from her nap, she'll think it's funny that I'm in pajamas.

This past week has been rough. I have had lots of aches and pains in places that I forgot could even hurt. For the most part, it's similar to my pregnancy with The Muffin, but it's harder to feel bad and still take care of her. She rubs my belly more and more and really enjoys feeling the baby kick, or as she says, "walk, crawl or kick the covers off".

Here are a few more pictures of Baby Ellie's room.

Here's her framed name, hairbow holder and a congratulatory card from my niece, Callie. You can also see the pearl "E". Muff has an "M" just like it in her room.

Here's the inside of the bed. This is the view that I'll have (minus a baby) when I peek in to hopefully find a little baby fast asleep. The Muffin convinced me to put her in the bed this morning and she looked like a giant!

Well, that's all for now. I'll be back on Wednesday or Thursday with a recap of our family Babymoon. I also have a cute little "Wordless Wednesday" post on auto-publish.

The Baby Belly-Week 28

Our Baby-to-be is approximately 15 inches tall/long!

She still kicks all the time and is on such a schedule that I can almost predict when the kicks will be the strongest. We only have a few more weeks before we'll get to meet her, face to face.

I've just realized that I wore this shirt in my week 25 picture, so I'm about to change tops before we go to Kindermusik. I really don't wear this shirt that much!

As our due date approaches, I'd like to ask for some specific prayer requests.

Of course, pray that the baby arrives alive, healthy and makes it to full term. We'll take this baby and love "it" (just in case it's an Eli and not an Ellie) no matter what God gives us.

Pray that I'll go into labor on my own and preferably when Big Daddy is at home an not an hour+ away! I have so many bad memories about my induction with The Muffin and I'd like this to start naturally.

Please pray that my birthplan is followed as closely as it can be. I'm keeping my wishes private for now, but I do hope that my birth experience is at least a little bit like I'm planning.

Pray that I'm more successful at breastfeeding this time. I don't think I'll be able to handle it if I fail again!

Pray that The Muffin loves and accepts her baby from the very start.

Please pray that Big Daddy and I are able to experience this birth together. We would both do just about anything to go back and have him be able to witness The Muffin's birth. Neither of us ever imagined that he would have to wait outside of the operating room to find out if his new baby was alive.

And finally, (for now) please pray that my sister gets to be in the delivery room like we've palnned and that my mom is waiting in the hallway with The Muffin like she wants to be.

Baby Belly- Week 27...and more

No picture of the belly this week. I took one, but I just don't feel like posting it. Our Baby-to-be weighs approximately 2.5 pounds now! Her eyelashes are growing and that baby fat is still growing, too. I still can't believe we are so far into this pregnancy. Baby Ellie kicks all the time and I love it! Things have been so different than when I was pregnant with The Muffin and we can only hope that this is a sign that our delivery will be quite different as well.

We had a busy Thursday-Saturday with The Muffin being away with Nana and Pawpaw. I did lots of things that aren't very pregnancy-friendly. The combination of my activities and the temperatures in the low 80's caused my feet to swell, so I tried to put them up a little yesterday evening.

Having snack before Kindermusik.

The Muffin and I had a busy morning with Kindermusik and a visit with Gammy Gladys. We attempted to go to Mc.Donald's for lunch, but after several minutes of waiting in line at the only register that was open, I decided we would leave. The Muffin refused to walk and I had to carry her across the restaurant and parking lot literally kicking and screaming. I took her shoes off when her fit first started so luckily, I didn't have to stop and pick them up. When we made it to our car I had to spend 15 minutes trying to get her buckled in her ar seat while she kicked, screamed and flailed her arms. (All of this after we've been having so many tantrum-free days) I stayed calm and only started crying after we were on our way home. She continued her tantrum for a few more minutes while I cooked lunch and then ate and told me that she loved me. I'm trying to remember that she was away for 48 hours with Nana & Pawpaw, did not have her daily nap and is just totally of of our usual routine. We prayed together after lunch and she apologized for her behavior. I can only hope that she'll feel better after her nap. We're planning on some outside play time while the temperatures are still in the upper 70's. It's hard to believe that just a week ago it was snowing and in the 20's.

Reading Bible stories before bed.

The Baby Belly-Week 26

Top to bottom, our Baby-to-be is now measuring around 13 inches. She weighs about a pound and a half and is getting her baby fat. I continue to be amazed that we are this far along! I am enjoying all of the little kicks and I'm still in baby bliss. (this is the can't hide anything maternity dress)

I was so focused on the ultrasound and all of the issues that I had with The Muffin's delivery for so many weeks. After the ultrasound and lots of support from my friends in the IVPF email group, I have put a lot of my fears to rest and decided to have faith that everything will be better this time.

I spend most of my time (when I think about baby stuff) planning. I plan how I want the delivery to be, introducing Maggie to Baby Ellie, and how I want things to be after we're home. My main focus is on breastfeeding right now. I still feel bad that I only nursed Maggie for a few days, but I'm certain I would have lost my mind if I'd try to do it any longer. Big Daddy and I were so afraid and insecure and our sweet Muffin cried so much! I'm so thankful that my midwives and Muff's pediatrician were supportive of our decision to nurse and our decision to give it up and go with formula. When I look back, I wish I had stuck with it, but I know that I had so many issues surrounding the traumatic delivery that I was close to loosing it!

I keep thinking about how I knew we would never have another baby on the day after Muff's birth. When my midwife told me what happened during the delivery I told her that I'd never have another baby. She told me that I would change my mind and of course, I did. For so long Big Daddy and I were completely content with thinking of The Muffin as an only child. One day I began to see her as a big sister. She is so caring, sensitive and considerate...at times. I knew all along that I couldn't imagine never growing another baby, but I couldn't face all of the fears.

Now, we look at The Muffin and all of the joy that she brings us. We make plans for Ellie to be welcomed into our lives and we can't rule out not having another baby. We'd always planned for only two, but having a baby changes everything.

The Baby Belly- Week 25

Our Baby-to-be (the newly named Ellie Grace) is approximately 14 inches long and weighs nearly 2 pounds! She can respond to noises from the outside world and proves it on Sunday morning during the Praise and Worship service.

I still can't believe that we are this far along!

I know it's still early, but we're trying to get ideas together of how we want things to happen when our Baby-to-be arrives. I talked to my sweet friend Linda at church today and she is on "the list" of people who we can call to help out with The Muffin if something happens and we need to go to the hospital and feel she can't go with us. Linda is one of my friends from my time in real estate and we also go to church together. Muff has to visit Linda in the sanctuary every Sunday before she goes to spend time in the nursery. The other will be "Gammy Gladys" ( I have to ask her first!) who also happens to be a former real estate agent. I'm pretty sure that The Muffin thinks that Gladys is really her grandmother. She loves going to her house for visits. My family is only about an hour away, so I feel sure that Muff should be able to hang out at the hospital with us unless there is an emergency. We're trying to be prepared.

Big Daddy and I will be discussing how we want things to be handled during and after the labor and delivery and then we'll talk about it with my mom and sister. I'm getting really excited and feel the need to be prepared.

The Baby Belly-Week 24

Our baby to be is about 13.5 inches tall this week! She's adding some baby fat so that she won't be all skin and bones when she gets here!

Pacey Grace continues to move around so much! Yesterday during the Praise and Worship service at church, she was kicking along to the music! The ladies in the nursery are anxious to have a new little baby to take care of and I'm actually looking forward to leaving our sweet baby in their care. (I think I must realize that this may be my only private time- two hours each week while in church!) I never even attempted or even wanted to leave The Muffin at our other church, but it's so different here. We found out this morning that the two couples from our Sunday school class that are adopting from Ethiopia will be expecting their infant boys in late summer or early fall, so Pacey will have friends around her age.

I spent time yesterday reading about the sixth month of pregnancy and thinking about labor and delivery. In so many ways I feel like this is my first experience with being pregnant and anticipating the delivery. I didn't think about or know how things could go wrong so fast at the end of a picture-perfect pregnancy. With The Muffin's birth, I lost my innocence and I worry about all of the seemingly rare things that can happen. I have an idea of how I want this birth to be and I'll be discussing it with my midwives soon.

Big Daddy and I also talked about what will happen after the baby is out of the belly. Who will The Muffin stay with if I have to go to the hospital before my family arrives and how I want things to be handled during the hospital stay. I've decided to make a sign to put on the door of my hospital room that asks for visitors to check with the nurse before entering. I don't want to seem rude or ungrateful when people are coming by to offer their well-wishes, but I do not like people (ahem! my in-laws) watching as I struggle to get out of bed to get to the bathroom. There were several times where we were interrupted during a nursing session by visitors and I'm not going to allow that to happen this time. I also want to be considerate of our first baby girl and make sure that she has time to get to know her new sister and feels like this is about more than just Mommy and baby and all these people coming by. I want this time to be about our little family of four getting to know each other and most importantly, I want to rest when I want to rest, without interruptions. After we're home, the ringers will be off on the phones, the doorbell will be unplugged and there will also be a sign on the door asking for visitors to call first and leave a message. I did this the first week that Muff and I were home and it was such a relief not to worry about unexpected visitors. We were alone about 14 hours a day, she cried LOTS and when she slept (which was rarely), I slept. I want visitors, but this time I want them on my terms. I'm going to make this labor and delivery a little more about me and what I want. If this is our last little baby, I want it to be a positive experience that I can look back on.

Do you think that's too much to ask?